If your husband left, you need to get honest with yourself to get him back. Find out how.
You may have asked your friends, talked to your family, and even paged through the articles Cosmo looking for direction on what to do. And now, you've found yourself where everyone looking for anything finds themselves—the Internet.
Though the World Wide Web won't answer the question, "how do I get my husband back?" it may at least propel you in the right direction. So, if you want to reclaim your marriage, consider following these arrows:
1. Figure out why he left
Some relationships end for super obvious reasons that may as well be neon lights flashing over a closed highway. Other relationships come to a halting end with little to no warning. These can leave the person left behind scratching their head, utterly confused as to why things happened the way that they did.
If your husband left for a reason you know, then great. It's not great that he left, but great that you know why. If your husband left for a reason to which you have no clue, then you must find out why. Before you learn this answer, you can never know how to get your husband back for good.
It's important you sit down with him with the specific purpose of listening. He may have withheld this information because he felt like it would cause a massive fight, or he anticipated you getting extremely defensive. Whatever the case, you must make it safe for him to be honest with you.
2. Fix what went wrong
After you know why your husband left, you must remedy the situation. Depending on your individual circumstances, this can be incredibly easy or incredibly difficult. If he left because you worked too much or spent too much time going out to the bars, simply changing your behavior might be enough to change your mind. But, if he left because the flame that once lit your marriage was extinguished years ago, you (and him) will likely have your work cut out for you. The relationship didn't end overnight, so rekindling that fire may take persistance and vision on your part.
3. Admit your role
Different men leave marriages for different reasons. Some leave because they get tired of being nagged (or what they perceive as being nagged); others leave because their wives turn into their roommates. Some leave because their wives are unfaithful; others leave because they feel like their wives fail to support them. Once you know why your husband left, you should be able to figure out your role in his departure. Figure out your role, admit your role, and then work quickly to recast yourself.
Remember that you're not alone. As you wonder how to get your husband back, it's only natural to wonder what you can do. While you will have to do much of the changing and asking for forgiveness in the first few months of any attempted reconciliation, it's important to remember that, in the long run, both of you will have to work on things.
4. It takes two
Two to tango and two to tangle. In other words, two people make a marriage work, and two people to end one. Even in instances where the villain is obvious, the other person isn't blameless. So, work on what you can to regain your husband's love and trust, but keep in mind that in order for things to truly work out, he must improve himself as well.
In the end, the Internet can be a helpful place to learn how to get your husband back. But, just like WebMD tends to tell every hypochondriac that their symptoms are related to dying, relationship advice doled out from your Dell or Ipad can only go so far. Ultimately, it's up to you whether this advice works or fails.
If you need a helping hand or a roadmap to reconcilation, click here.