So now that you have a better idea on who you are and what you are looking for: What do you do?
We discussed the first steps to finding your potential boyfriend/girlfriend in part 1 to this article. Those were the things within you that should be addressed first. Now we are going to talk about the next steps. You have a better idea on who you are and what you are really looking for, in your own life, as well as from your partner. Now, what do you do with all of that?
You are independent, and you want the right person— not just a momentary fling. You are capable of going out and doing things on your own. Since you are working on becoming a better person, you are more focused on improvement and people see that about you. People are attracted to men and women who are confident in themselves.
Here are some tips on what to do next:
- Get out of the house— Find an organization that deals with something that you are passionate about and volunteer your time. This will not only help out the organization, it will boost your own self esteem and help you meet more people that share some of the same passions as you.
- Take up a hobby— Find something that you enjoy doing. If you enjoy gardening, find a local community garden organization to work with. If you enjoy hiking, rock climbing or other outdoor activities, find groups of people that enjoy doing the same thing. If you are in school, or just trying to learn something new, find people who are doing the same and create study groups. The more activities that you get involved in the more people that you will meet. Meeting people that have the same interests as you will give you an advantage to finding someone that you might want to share your time with.
- Go out with no expectations for the night— Go out and just enjoy spending time with your friends. Don't worry about looking for a potential partner or showing off for anyone. Just enjoy being out having a good time. Have you ever gone out and seen someone having a genuinely good time with their friends and been attracted to them just because of their personality? Chances are that you have seen someone smiling and laughing with their friends and been intrigued by them. You have a good chance of attracting people by just being yourself.
- Take things slow— So, you're out having a good time and getting to know new people. You meet someone that peaks your interest and you are ready to jump right in to a new relationship. Put the brakes on and slow down for a moment though. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. I'm happy that you met someone but I advise you to take your time. This is all new and exciting. I'm sure that the endorphins have kicked into overdrive and the desire to spend all your free time with that person has already started. We don't want to overwhelm the other person by smothering them. We don't want to make them think they have you wrapped around their little finger already, even if they do. Don't you remember that you are a strong, independent person who is focused on improvement in your own life?
- Take things really slow— If you can't stop staring at your new interests' picture on your phone, you might be border lining on obsession. Remove the "Every Breath You Take" ring tone from off your cell phone and stop planning your wedding for a while. You need to keep living your life right now. Don't blow your friends off just yet or give up your volunteer position. Do not go and make a spare key to your place to give them any time soon. Did you forget about all those goals you made already? Don't get side tracked from those. If this person is going to prove to be a good fit, they won't distract you from what is important to you. For instance, if you have already planned to spend Friday night volunteering at the local shelter but your newest interest wants to go out for dinner and a movie, politely decline, or postpone your date. If he or she genuinely cares about you, they won't mind that you have plans already and will be able to appreciate the fact that you are honorable enough to keep your word.
It is just as important to respect yourself and your goals as it is to respect others. Take your time getting to know people and don't dive in head over heels at the first person that catches your eye. You want that one special person that was meant for you, right? You may have to sift through a few impostors before you make it to the right one!
For more ideas on how to find the right person for you, click here.
This article was contributed by Rose Leisure.