to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

FUEL Shortage: 4 Relationship Areas Often Underestimated

By . Posted on .

FUEL Shortage: 4 Relationship Areas Often Underestimated
The shortage of fuel after Hurricane Sandy parallels fuel for relationships often taken advantage of

In recent weeks, Hurricane Sandy has affected many dimensions of life in the greater New York area.  Among this has been a shortage of fuel which has not been seen since the 1970s.  Those who drive in the area are suddenly becoming acutely aware of how much they take for granted that they can fill up their vehicle with gas as rationing is now being implemented in both New Jersey and New York restricting when area residents can even attempt to buy gas.  Just as fuel has become something that we take for granted, there are also elements that fuel our relationships that we also take for granted.  What are some of these aspects?

  • F: Family and Friends. When is the last time that you remained nice all day towards people you do not like or even do not respect and then came home and your frustrations came out directed at those you love?  How many of your friends are you overdue to talk with or to get together with?  Have you allowed other things to take up the time you should have spent to nurture these relationships, assuming that your family and friends will be there when you finally get time to spend with them?  Many people realize how they have taken these significant relationships for granted when the person that is important to them dies or becomes less available because they have found other people to be involved with.  The lesson of the fuel shortage reminds each of us to make family and friends a priority in our life before the shortage occurs.
  • U: Understanding and Acceptance.  In your significant relationships, you go through a number of different stages.  A certain depth is found when you know that the other person understands who you are and you do not have to explain yourself because the other person already knows and accepts you for who you are, even if they do not agree with you.  Being known at this level is one of the blessings that comes in a relationship, but is one of the things that is seldom reflected on or spoken of.  When is the last time that you let the special people in your life know that you appreciate their understanding and acceptance?  Have you recently not made it a priority to really understand someone who is significant in your life and accept who they are even when it is going against where you are at?  The lesson of the fuel shortage reminds each of us to pay attention to understanding and acceptance in our relationships.
  • E: Engagement from Others.  The other side of acceptance is being willing to have someone engage you about things that are important to you and to even challenge what you hold dear.  In your life, there is probably a small number of people who can engage you about your deepest hopes and dreams, about your core assumptions in life, about your overall life direction.  These people help to make you stronger and help to g
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

The Rev. Christopher Smith

Counselor/Therapist

The Rev. Christopher L. Smith, LMFT has served as a national leader around mental health issues both within the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and in professional counseling organizations.  He works directly with individuals, couples, families and supervisees as the Clinical Director of Seeking Shalom in New York City.  He also brings his insight to help a wider audience through writing, speaking and consultations.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LAC, LMFT, LMHC, MDiv, MS, SAP
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Forgiveness, Spiritual
Other Articles/News by The Rev. Christopher Smith:

10 Alternate Mother's Day Activities

By

Mother's Day can become very routine.  You call your mother.  You take her out to lunch.  You take this opportuntiy to express your love and gratitude to her.  However, Mother's Day is an opportunity to look at the bigger picture and to engage in some alternate activities.  Here is a countdown of 10 activities that you might ... Read more

My Relationship Is In Trouble, Could a Pastoral Counselor Help?

By

There are so many types of counselors out there.  If your relationship is in trouble, who can you turn to? An LPC? LMHC? LMFT? LCSW? Psychologist? Pastoral Counselor?Lucy from Peanuts? Some other designation?  Is a pastoral counselor qualified to handle relationship difficulties? Mental health professionals do come in a wide variety of flavors and ... Read more

Overcoming Tragedy: The Death Of Your Child

By

When we hear tragic news stories, we can't help but picture ourselves and our loved ones placed at the center of such events. The  deaths of Audrey Pott in California, Rehtaeh Parsons in Nova Scotia and 8-year-old Martin Richard have broken hearts around the world — not to mention the hearts of their parents who are left behind. Audrey Pott, ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Psychology

What is Binge Eating?

What really qualifies as binge eating? Find out if you're a binger and how do you stop for good.

vacation sex

Vacation Sex: 3 Reasons To Plan A Romantic Getaway

Daily life often gets in the way of a passionate sex life. What you need is some alone time.

Walk

Can A Retreat Save Your Marriage?

A couples retreat can bring intimacy, renewal and healing if you've been neglected or feel betrayed

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS