4 Reasons You Might Want To Date A Criminal


4 Reasons You Might Want To Date A Criminal [EXPERT]
Don't write off a date just because of a pesky criminal record. He could be the one!

In a similar vein, there are people that are convicted of a crime because of their association with an act but were not really fully involved in the act and certainly were not acting with a criminal mind. This happens in the case of some financial crimes where your potential date may have been convicted while simply going along with the advice that they were receiving. It may also happen when they didn't really initiate the crime but fell into it by association (e.g. getting arrested for an assault that came up in coming to someone else's defense).

If you feel that their crime does not represent a criminal mind there might be positive things about the way they think and act that comes out in exploring why they are a criminal.


3. Breaking the law was a good thing. If a person violates a law for a reason that you believe is honorable, then such a criminal is someone that you would want to date. This is especially the case where the arrest and conviction is related to some form of civil disobedience that you believe in. In recent years, you might think of people acting for needed immigration reform (such as the Rev. John Fife who went on to lead his denomination as a felon) or occupy protesters. The fact that your potential date is a criminal in this way means that your potential date feels strongly enough about something that you share to pay a price to act on it.

In other cases, you may feel that breaking the law is a good thing because you disagree with the law that is being broken. For example, if you believe in the right-to-die you may be attracted to someone that has been convicted under assisted suicide laws. Some people may feel similarly about possession of small quantities of certain drugs. Again, the fact that this person is a criminal confirms the fact that you have similar philosophical or moral convictions or something about similar lifestyles.

4. They really did not commit the crime. There are people who are innocent who are convicted by our justice system. There are cases where someone has already completed their sentence where they are still not exonerated when new evidence comes to light. There are also cases where you may believe that they are innocent (but there is reason to be more skeptical in these cases).

Your potential date may also not have committed the crime they were convicted of but may have pled to it to try and protect others or because they had done something and felt that this was their best outcome possible. In these cases, you will again have to determine how you feel about what they did as well as what their plea arrangement says about their personality. Online Dating Safety: 7 Signs He's A Criminal

While discovering your potential date is a criminal may often be a deal breaker, there are cases where you should still consider whether you want to date them. In fact, there are even situations where their crime or the situation around their crime should enhance your interest in them.  Exploring this rather than automatically judging them will allow you the chance to pursue a good relationship and help you enter a situation where you can find peace and wholeness.

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The Rev. Christopher L. Smith

Marriage and Family Therapist

The Rev. Christopher L. Smith, LCAC, LMHC, LMFT has served as a national leader around mental health issues both within the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and in professional counseling organizations.  He works directly with individuals, couples, families and supervisees as the Clinical Director of Seeking Shalom in New York City.  He also brings his insight to help a wider audience through writing, speaking and consultations.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LAC, LMFT, LMHC, MDiv
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Forgiveness, Spiritual
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