From LoveInsight.com blogger Diana P.
Let's face it. Women tend to vent, while men tend to fix. These are generalizations, yes, but true for many. How many times have you uttered these words: "I just wanted him to listen, but he kept telling me what to do!" For me, it's been many, many times. In fact, a friend just told me today, "Why can't he just let me vent?" (For Dr. Martin's take on this, read "The One Thing Guys Want.")
I must admit though, sometimes . . . just sometimes . . . the male way of doing things is better. Here's an example.
Several years ago, I was working on a project at work that needed to be implemented in a very short time, using some technology that we never used before. It was definitely a stressful time. I called a peer in another department for some help.
I got a call from his boss a couple of hours later. His boss read me the riot act, yelling at me on the phone, saying that I was not to bother his staff on the project. However, he was also "nice" enough to tell me who I should be calling instead.
After apologizing profusely and hanging up, I went to the bathroom and cried. I couldn't help it; i felt so frustrated. A few minutes later, I pulled myself together and went to my own boss to seek assistance. As I was explaining the situation to him, to my horror, I started to cry again.
My boss didn't say a word. He picked up the phone to call one of his peers and said, "Hey, we're working on a project; who in your area can help?"
After he hung up, I thanked him, got up, went back to my desk, and started to work again. And that was it. There was no acknowledgement of my tears; no empathy for the situation; no mention of the situation at a later date. Just straight up "let's fix it" ... that one thing so many women are frustrated by.
That was over 10 years ago, and to this day, I am very appreciative of the way he handled it. I needed help, not sympathy, and I was extremely embarrassed that I did cry (no woman ever wants to cry in the workplace). Granted, this was a professional situation vs. a personal one, but if my subordinate at work came to me in a similar fashion, you bet there would be a lot empathy displayed and soothing words uttered.
It really made me think. This fix it, no frills attitude is really sometimes the way to go, especially in the work place where there isn't really any room for taking things personally and personal drama. Let's just get it done, right?
How about you? Have you been in a situation where you were glad that your guy handled it the way that he did, and it was totally different from how you would have handled it? What did he do that was different and why was it better?
(P.S. Oh, and by the way, I got a call of apology the next day from the person who yelled at me. And I accepted it. )
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