These 36 Questions Guarantee You'll Fall In Love (Says Science!)

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The 36 Questions Guaranteed To Make You Both Fall In Love
Love

And they'll fall in love right back!

Because "the development of a close relationship is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure,” researchers tried this series of 36 questions to induce romantic feelings.  

They were partially successful. It turns out that many people have used the questions to increase closeness in a current relationship. They had fun doing it. You might like to try it.

The series of questions appeared in the New York Times Modern Love section with the title: To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This, written by Mandy Len Catron.

It worked for her. She fell in love with someone she barely knew beforehand. It may take an hour or more to get through all the questions.

Directions: Partners alternate asking the questions. The person who asks the question answers first. At the end, look into each others' eyes for 2 to 4 minutes.

As Len Catron says, “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified. Four really goes somewhere.”

Here are the 36 questions to ask someone if you want to fall in love:

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

The author of the article in the NY Times on these questions has given a great Ted Talk: Falling in love is the easy part. She is so right!!

Interested in the science of attraction and how it can help your relationship? We are neuroscientist Lucy L. Brown, PhD and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD — and we are eager to help you put the Anatomy of Love to work in your life.

This article was originally published at The Anatomy Of Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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