6 WaysTo Resolve Conflicts And End "The Blame Game" In Marriage

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6 WaysTo Resolve Conflicts And End "The Blame Game" In Marriage
While conflict seems to be a destructive force, it can actually help couples achieve lasting love.

It may seem obvious to some, but not all, that the best relationships are ones born out of trust and vulnerability.  Each partner approaches one another as an equal. The relationship does not drain its participants; instead it nourishes. Differences between partners are complementary. These differences are advantageous and desirable and do not create a hindrance to the relationship; instead they contribute to its growth. In a healthy relationship, partners draw out untapped possibilities in one another.   

In sum, be sure to pay close attention to your reactions the next time you are in a challenging situation with your partner. Take a look at the part you play. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s guiding principle of adding more positive interactions – a five-to-one ratio. For every negative interaction in a relationship, you need five positive ones. Since we all have flaws, focus on not getting defensive because that will only push him or her away. The next time you feel upset at your partner, examine your own thoughts and responses – before you point out their faults.

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
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Terry Gaspard

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Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW is a licensed therapist, author, and college instructor. Her book "Daughters of Divorce" which she wrote with her daughter Tracy will be published by Sourcebooks in the fall of 2015. Terry and Tracy offer a healing community about divorce related issues at movingpastdivorce.com.  Terry is also a regular contributor to Huffington Post Divorce and DivorcedMoms.com. She is a sought after speaker on divorce and relationship issues. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Location: Portsmouth, RI
Credentials: LICSW
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