It may seem obvious to some, but not all, that the best relationships are ones born out of trust and vulnerability. Each partner approaches one another as an equal. The relationship does not drain its participants; instead it nourishes. Differences between partners are complementary. These differences are advantageous and desirable and do not create a hindrance to the relationship; instead they contribute to its growth. In a healthy relationship, partners draw out untapped possibilities in one another.
In sum, be sure to pay close attention to your reactions the next time you are in a challenging situation with your partner. Take a look at the part you play. Keep in mind Dr. John Gottman’s guiding principle of adding more positive interactions – a five-to-one ratio. For every negative interaction in a relationship, you need five positive ones. Since we all have flaws, focus on not getting defensive because that will only push him or her away. The next time you feel upset at your partner, examine your own thoughts and responses – before you point out their faults.