... and hoping the distance will naturally end the relationship. "No, honey, don't bother moving across country with me (even though you could). We'll just do long distance," said no happily committed person ever.
Similar to this guy's story, you're desperately hoping that the other person will simply stop calling at some point if you make a pilgrimage somewhere else ... anywhere else.
Gym attendance at an all time high? Check. Finally lost that spare tire? Check. Sudden new interest in grooming when you didn't care before? Yup. The act of eyeing the door has launched you off the couch and back into looking-for-a-mate fighting shape.
Do you find yourself flinching (or even wanting to scream) every time your paramour plasters signs of their devotion all over your Facebook wall? Have you given up on commenting in hopes of "not encouraging it"? Have you locked your social media accounts to prevent posts by others?
Since you started pulling away, your partner has redoubled their efforts to win you over in ways that you're starting to consider deeply pathetic.
Suddenly, there's no time like the present to re-ignite your long-dormant personal goals. That popsicle stick model of the Eiffel tower (to scale, of course) that you started in 8th grade suddenly demands you finish it.
You've solidly rocketed yourself right into IDGAF (I don't give a f*ck) territory when it comes to making decisions. You no longer care whether the other person is irritated, pissed-off or inconvenienced by anything you do. In fact, you welcome their displeasure, since in a small way it gets the message across that you're done.
In a futile effort to drive them far, far away, you've had that talk that goes, "Dah-ling, I'm a senseless disaster (fill in your own adjectives) who could never, ever be as nice to you as you are to me. I don't want to tie you down/hold you back/dull your shine."
"You deserve someone better." a.k.a. Please date anyone but me!
Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW is a licensed therapist, author, and college instructor. Her book "Daughters of Divorce" which she wrote with her daughter Tracy will be published by Sourcebooks in January of 2016. Terry and Tracy offer a healing community about divorce related issues at movingpastdivorce.com. Terry is also a regular contributor to Huffington Post Divorce and DivorcedMoms.com. She is a sought after speaker on divorce and relationship issues. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.
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