Why This is NOT the Time to Let Your (Control) Freak Flag Fly


Why This is NOT the Time to Let Your (Control) Freak Flag Fly
If you want to take those exciting leaps forward toward what you want, you have to let control go.

You tell yourself you want something more. You tell yourself, at times, that you’re ready.
And then you don’t act. Or, maybe you sabotage. Or, maybe you fail to see opportunities that are right under your nose. Why?

You’re too worried about “the how.”


When you worry too much about how something is going to happen, you begin to micromanage your life, your business and career, your relationships. You think that if you have every little detail in order, every hair in place, you won’t fail this time.

These are all fear behaviors that lull you into thinking that the security of the known is better than the risk of stepping into the unknown in order to live your dream life. The known is really the enemy of the dreamer. Remember, if you keep doing the same thing you’re going to get more of the same. You have to leave your comfort zone if you want that shift.

Here’s the truth: that inner control freak has got to go if you want to take the exciting leaps that are waiting for you.

Here’s what happens. When you try to tightly control everything, the flow of money in and out, how someone will react, what someone is thinking about you, the exact and detailed outline of next steps –what ends up happening is that you stay so worried about how it will happen that you lose your faith that it will happen. That loss of faith, meanwhile, is what blocks the universe’s ability to bring you what you want. It’s like you’re standing on the garden hose, and all the water is backing up behind it. Sooner or later, either it will develop a crack, a slow leak, or the hose will burst.

That leak means you start bleeding energy in ways you don’t notice at first. You start to feel weary, nervous, or anxious. You begin to lose the trust needed to make the leap into the unknown. You stop taking risks at all for fear of making a mistake. You tell yourself, “See, I can’t do this!” and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Or, you hold so tightly that your over-controlling, micromanaging fear (and lack) based thinking get the best of you and you give up or crack. (Let’s be honest – we’ve all been there.) It is exhausting!

So what’s an earnest, well-intended, goal-oriented person to do?

Get off the hose.

In other words, take a few risks. Trust. Do something you’ve never done before. Trust that if you have the desire, you have the means. Stop worrying so much about the how or the risk because –guess what? No matter what, you’re always risking something. Even by not acting, you are taking a risk. You’re risking getting so frustrated with your status quo that you’ll never crawl out of your pain. Or, if you want to look at it in a less dramatic way, you’ll never get what you really want.

You simply have to decide which risk you want to take: the risk of staying the same and things never changing, or trying and it not working out the first, second or even third time. You have to risk not knowing how it’s all going to come forward.

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