So many people start out the new year thinking, "Starting January 2 (because you give yourself that extra day to be 'bad' ) I'm going to... quit smoking, lose weight, go to the gym, open my own business, switch jobs, stand up for myself... " The list can go on and on, but the truth is, resolutions are generally flimsy. They're limp. They aren't backed up appropriately, and so they only serve to make you feel bad about yourself.
So how do you begin to change things?
First of all, stop making resolutions you ultimately know are full of hot air. Sorry, tough love time. I've done this myself. I get it. And it doesn't work.
You can wish something to be different, but until you actually become an active participant in doing it differently, nothing will change. Until you actively participate and understand that change needs to occur on all 4 levels of your being -mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually - the change will be short-lived or not fully realized.
Mental discipline is not enough, though it is a start. One of the reasons diets don't usually work is because it needs to be more than a mental process! You can't will yourself away from the cookie that you are using to stuff down a feeling until you identify the feeling, create a positive desire for change that is connected to an emotion, know why you want to change, and then create do-able steps to make the change.
Here are some ways to create change in your life, starting today.
Step 1: Vision
First of all, you have to know where you want to go. If you don't know where you're going, how do you get there? Imagine using a GPS without an address or destination. There will be no roadmap available! Really get into the vision of where you'd like to be in the next year. Spend some time imagining what it would be like to really be there.
Make a list of what you would like to accomplish in the next 3 months, 6 months, 1 year. It should be a stretch, but do-able. If you don't believe you can accomplish these things, it will only serve to create fodder for self-sabotage
You have to do this part. You have to. You can't just fantasize the "wouldn't it be great if... " scenario. That's not taking responsibility and it's not creating change. You have to write it down.
Step 2: Why?
This is where you get into why you want these things. Your why is what gives you the motivation to follow through. If you don't know why you want what you want, you'll lose your mojo and stick-to-itiveness. Why is perhaps one of the most important questions you can ask yourself.
Dig deeply to find your why; it's not a superficial answer. For example, why do you want to make more money? It's not really because you want a new car or house. More than likely, it's because you want the lifestyle, freedom and peace that more money will afford you.
Go beyond the initial answer and find something of real value that will connect you more profoundly with why you want to change something.