I recently did an online survey to ask women what their biggest block to moving forward in their lives was. Almost overwhelmingly, the response was fear: fear of failure, fear of what others might think, fear of success, fear of being laughed at, fear of getting hurt. The list goes on. Since overcoming fear is pivotal to my programs, I want to talk about how to put a F.A.C.E to the name of fear.
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As I've said before, fear is one of the most crippling emotions you can have, and one you truly do have control over (assuming you are safe in life and limb). So how do you "release your fears?" By first understanding where they come from, looking them square in the F.A.C.E. for what they are, and allowing them to dissolve once you shine your light of awareness on them.
Fear basically comes from four sources:
F: Forgetting who we are.
When you forget that you are a divine being, with a divine purpose on this earth, (or substitute the word "unique" here) you slip into fear when life seems confusing and hurtful or you become unbalanced. This fear is because you are not grounded in a sense of yourself. That sounds like a lot of woowoo words to describe feeling unmoored, but you know this feeling of when you can't "right" yourself when you are down, feel confused about next steps or when something causes you to feel "unglued". The best thing you can return to in those moments is knowing Who you are (with a capital W - your "inner who"), what you stand for, what your values are, and what it is that drives and motivates you. These are extremely important, though sometimes not easy questions to answer. Remembering "Who you are" helps you face fears.
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A - Assuming the past will repeat itself, or your worst fears will come to pass
Making assumptions is one of the biggest reasons you feel fear. Remember that assumptions are just thoughts - because something happened in the past, you often assume it will happen again. Ask yourself, "How do you know that to be true?" You don't. But because you are afraid that it will come true, you begin to look for confirmation that it will. By looking for that confirmation, you create more of what you are afraid of! Your brain is programmed to see (mostly) things that confirm that your assumptions and fears are true. (Remember the old analogy that when you're considering buying a certain car, you seem to see them everywhere?)
Checking in with your thoughts (for assumptions are merely thoughts, just like fears are merely thoughts) is pivotal to removing the assumptions and moving past fear.
C: Comparing yourself to others
One of the most powerful fear-inducing behaviors you can have is to compare yourself to others. Your brain has built into it old behaviors that you believe will keep you safe and alive. You may not even realize you are doing it, but you compare yourself to others constantly. This comes from an old brain pattern of "survival of the fittest" and one that really doesn't serve you if you use this trait as a source of fear - which many often do.