The Entitlement Trap

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The Entitlement Trap
There is a difference between entitlement and deservedness. Realize your true value.

There is a balance every person has to find in his or her life between giving back and knowing they have value worthy of payment.  You don’t go to your doctor and say, “You should give this surgery to me for free.” You don’t walk into a restaurant and say, “You should give me a discount because I don’t have any money.” No, you figure out a way to get the help you need, and then lift yourself up.

This is going to push a lot of buttons, I know. But the truth is that until we start to feel worthy, we run the risk of feeling entitled. And that is disempowering and has an adverse effect on the world, in general!

 

The entitlement piece: Usually this stems from people’s sense that they have been victimized in their lives. They can’t seem to find a way out of the struggle (often financially) and so blame others for their plight.  It becomes more and more of a self-fulfilling philosophy and rather than go deeply inside to address the pain, they blame others and don’t take responsibility for participating in the creation of their own reality.

Take divorce. I see it time and time again when a marriage falls apart. Rather than deal with the abandonment issues, the pain of being left or the anger at the other person who wasn’t meeting needs, there is a lot of complaining going on about how the other person ruined the marriage. (That’s what I did in the beginning!) It takes two to break up a relationship…after all, there are two people in it. Not taking responsibility is a form of entitlement.

I remember my ex showing me photographs of a trip he took to India. He visited a leper colony. There was a beautiful photo of a couple who were losing limbs and sitting in front of their makeshift home, a fire burning. They were making tea. They looked so happy. He said he was touched by how cheerful, loving and good spirited they were, how much love they shared, and how happy they were to be together, even in this situation.

So I ask you, no matter where you are in life: are you enjoying this gift of life, feeling worthy of love, money and happiness? Or, are you angry and entitled, feeling the world owes you a favor?

It’s a sensitive subject, but I think one worthy of debate. I have a feeling I may have ticked people off in this newsletter, but that’s okay. Because I know where my heart is, where my value is, and what I am deserving of.

How do I know this? Because I used to be that entitled one.

Affirmation of the Week

I realize and own more and more of my value every day. I believe in what’s possible.  I live by the motto of doing well by doing good.

 
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