How to Turn "No I Can't" Into "Yes I Can!"


How to Turn "No I Can't" Into "Yes I Can!"

Way too often, we talk ourselves into the living with limits — limits that are self-created and unnecessarily perpetuated. A recent conversation with a couple I’ve known for a very long time brought this to mind.

Intellectually gifted, their son applied to and was accepted into a prestigious private high school — the school of his dreams and one of his parents said they wanted him to be able to attend.  BUT, they said, "We just can’t come up with the additional money required to cover our portion of fees and tuition."


They needed an additional $4000.00 for the first year. I asked, "Could you cut expenses by $400.00 per month? If you can find the money in your monthly budget, consider asking the school if a monthly payment arrangement would be acceptable.  That way, you don’t have to come up with it all at once."

Immediately, they said, "Oh, no.  We can’t find that kind of money in our budget. I guess he just won’t be able to go to that school, after all. It’s a shame.  He’s worked so hard and deserves to have all the opportunities that will come his way because he went to this wonderful school.  But, I don’t see a way to pull the money together."

Given that they initiated the conversation with me, I felt free to pushed a bit, offering some practical suggestions. I made several suggestions to the mother. She could do her own nails — manicure and pedicure — estimating that would net about $100 per month. She could also do her hair herself instead of going to the hairdresser twice monthly. The savings there could be as much as $125. Those ideas alone could put the family a little more than half way towards the $400 needed.

Turning to the father, I suggested he give up his basketball season ticket package and opt to attend a game or two instead of ten.  That change could add an average of over $100 per month to the coffers.

Add in fewer meals out and they would have more than the money required to fund a great educational opportunity for their talented son.

Each of the suggested changes could seem like a sacrifice — like giving up something. In fact, if the family follows-through with this plan, they will give up some things they’re accustomed to enjoying. But, in this case, they give them up for something they want more. In this way the give is not a sacrifice — but a change, a reprioritization of how resources are used.  This family, like so many of us, stuck and unable to see clearly, needed help finding a way to move beyond the boundary limited thinking defined.

While I talked with the family about money, to be clear, I’m not a financial advisor.  I’m simply a person who is interested in helping people find a way to move beyond the, “No.  I can’t,” they have at the ready and get to, “Yes, I can!”

To which worthy dreams and goals have you said, "No, I can't?"  Are you willing to change your mind, broaden your perspective, and if necessary, make a short-term “sacrifice” in order to create conditions that make, “Yes, I can” a real possibility when it comes to what’s truly important to you?

For daily inspiration and motivation, join the growing Spirit of Purpose community on Facebook.  

This article was originally published at Reprinted with permission.

More on Life Coach from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teressa Moore Griffin

Life Coach

Did you know you have all the tools you need to live a life of purpose and passion.  Sometimes, all you need is someone to help uncover the truth of who you really are.  

What's hiding your truth? 

  • Labels you were given early in life that you've internalized.
  • Illusions about what people like you do and don't do.
  • Execuses that you use to keep the unknown at arm's length.
  • Stories that you or someone made up about you, but you've decided to act as if they're true.

These LIES are limiting your potential.  

I can help you identify the LIES limiting your life.  Learn how to achieve your goals with authentic power from within.  Let me help you become the person you meant to be.

Location: Ventnor, NJ
Credentials: MS
Other Articles/News by Teressa Moore Griffin:

On Whose Shoulders Do You Stand?


Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday – a day of appreciation for the amazing legacy I’ve inherited and the abundance with which I’m blessed.  With heart-felt gratitude, this Thanksgiving season, I’m reflecting on and appreciating the many people on whose shoulders I stand.  Their lives and contributions have eased my ... Read more

The Secret to Ending Negative Thought Spirals


When unwanted results show up, and they always do, where do you put your energy and attention?  On the problem or the solution? If you’re like the majority of people, in your personal and professional life, the things you don’t want end up captivating you.  You think about them.  Talk about them.  Wrestle with them.  ... Read more

7 Times It's Good To Be A Little Selfish


Recently, I had the honor of speaking on a topic that intrigued and inspired me. The topic was about how African Americans in Atlantic City's early history created a strong, affluent and successful community full of confidence in spite of pervasive racism and negative stereotypes. My talk was among many activities supporting The African American Heritage ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular