Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Serenity; A model for understanding


Congratulations to all people in recovery. Recovery can be the most rewarding time of your life. It is exciting to learn new ways of coping with the daily messes of life. Learning to gain a sense of control over your emotional life is a wonderfully gratifying experience. Alas, some of you may still being pushed around by life’s messes and chaos. Fear not, by learning to deal with your emotional response you can have a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

I’d like to share a metaphor with you in which you can visualize what I am trying to say. Nature has examples that are helpful illustrations of this concept. I call it “the eye of the storm metaphor.”  If you look at weather pictures from a satellite of a hurricane you can see a swirling mass of clouds and destructive chaos where ever it lands on the ground. In the center, “the eye” of the storm is a haven of peace and calm. The eye is protected from the storm brewing all around the eye. I believe this is where our recovery goals are located. Staying centered pulling ourselves back into the center of our experience keeps us safe from the chaos of the storm.

This means when you are defending and blaming others you are choosing to be in the midst of the storm. You are making sure you are unable to attain a sense of peace and serenity for yourself. You are choosing the storm over the centered calm of the “eye”.  Remember, you do have a choice to be in the chaos, and be pushed around by life events and messes. Or, you can make a choice to be centered, accept responsibility for your own life and emotional experience and retreat into the “eye” of calmness.

Life is messy and chaotic when you depend on the approval of others. It is much easier to maintain serenity when you take responsibility for your internal experience, without blaming those around you. Try this at home: For one day, try to focus on being in the “eye” when others are in chaos. Detach from your approval seeking an see what happens.

Peace and Blessings to each of you,

If you would like more information like this you can follow me on twitter, sign up for my newsletter , or contact me at my website.

Sincerely, Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT (Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist)

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.


Explore YourTango