In the book, Facing Love Addiction, Author Pia Mellody states the definition of Love Addiction or Obsession specifically is 1. Development of a increasing tolerance of bad behavior from a partner. 2. Increasing dependence on a partner. 3. Self-care becomes more neglected over time. 4. Increasingly not aware of your own feelings. 5. Feeling trapped and unable to escape. 6. Obsessive thoughts of retaliation towards partner. If this is you, there is help available to grow into true love and intimacy for your relationship.
True love and intimacy is a gradual “knowing” of each other over time. It takes listening to each other and find out Who that person really is and loving them unconditionally. It means giving up your fantasy of who you think the person should be and loving them for who they are. You decide to grow personally to enhance the quality of the relationship to become more satisfying for you and your partner. You allow for your partner to Not meet All your needs. You develop an Abundant Lifestyle meaning there is enough love for everyone (love is not a scarce commodity). You develop the ability to solve problems with negotiation and compromise. You enjoy each other’s differences and you communicate simply and directly.
Whether Rhianna and Chris Brown get back together or not, I believe any couple can learn how to increase their intimacy and develop a deeper more satisfying relationship. It takes introspection and making changes that benefit both partners in the relationship. If you have grown weary of the intensity of “Bad Boy” relationships, choose to change. Do something about it, you are not stuck. Take a step towards positive change, ask for help, and Journey to Abundant Life as a couple.