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Why General Petraeus Cheated

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Why General Petraeus Cheated [EXPERT]
Another one bites the dust.
What motivates infidelity and how cheaters expect to get away with it.

When a third person starts showering the cheating spouse with attention, it feels really good to be valued and appreciated. Before they know it, the affair partner is more important than the spouse and thus the affair has begun. If you are currently in an affair, get help now.

2. How can successful, intelligent people ignore the risks of having an affair? Intelligence is trumped by feelings of wel-lbeing by the brain's reward system. The cheaters begin to neglect their own families and spend their mental and emotional energy wondering about their affair partner. This preoccupation with the affair partner literally manufactures dopamine in the cheater's brain.

More from YourTango: Radio Show: Healing After Betrayal

Dopamine is the feel-good chemical in the brain's reward system. The emotional drive to get the unmet need met is so powerful, it overrides intelligence. That is why highly successful people are "caught with their pants down."  It is not just an issue of choice when sexual drives override and hijack cheaters' brains. The "high" of the encounter with the affair partner literally turns off cognitive functioning in their brains.  

Single and married people are equally at risk of having affairs. The unmet needs are the driving force for any affair. Affairs happen all the time and are devastating to all involved. If you need assistance getting past an affair, by all means, ask for it.

3. What are the consequences of affairs? Intense grief brings waves of betrayal to a spouse of a cheater. It has been reported that Holly Petreaus is beyond angry, which is often the first emotion which surfaces in the face of an affair. Following anger, people experience grief in much the same way as losing a loved one to death, only the death is what you thought your relationship once was. 

More from YourTango: Live Radio Show: Healing After Sexual Betrayal

If the spouse leaves the marriage, there is a loss of the cheater's marriage partner and loss of an intact family. If the spouse chooses to stay in the marriage, there is loss of trust in the marriage which takes a lot of time and therapy to repair. Whether or not the marriage remains intact, children experience a loss of security in their home. The spouses of cheaters feel an intense sense of betrayal. Cheaters can also experience loss of career, reputation, friends, income, the affair partner and even loss of life by suicide or homicide.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

If you are a woman who has been betrayed and want to heal and thrive  I want to invite you to my Free Webinar.

My passion is to encourage, nurture,and validate people, deepening their most important relationships to Live Life Abundantly!

Reserve my seat now for the amazing webinar, "Surviving to Thriving" Help for women after discovering your partner has cheated.

 

Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Teresa Maples:

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Taking Back Your Sexuality After Trauma Or Abuse

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If you suffered from childhood sexual abuse you probably land in one of two camps; those who have nightmares and avoid sexual experiences out of fear, and those that repeat the pattern of sexual trauma, justifying it in the name of freedom. Both behaviors are problematic and can deprive you of a fulfilling life. Even though you were abused as a child, it ... Read more

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Carol the Coach interviewed Teresa Maples on March 3, 2014 on the topic of Partners of Cheaters. If you are interested click here and you can listen to the interview in its entirety. Teresa talked about her upcoming webinar and how she can help women who want healing after being betrayed by their partners. Many partners feel like they are going crazy and ... Read more

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