When a third person starts showering the cheating spouse with attention, it feels really good to be valued and appreciated. Before they know it, the affair partner is more important than the spouse and thus the affair has begun. If you are currently in an affair, get help now.
2. How can successful, intelligent people ignore the risks of having an affair? Intelligence is trumped by feelings of wel-lbeing by the brain's reward system. The cheaters begin to neglect their own families and spend their mental and emotional energy wondering about their affair partner. This preoccupation with the affair partner literally manufactures dopamine in the cheater's brain.
More from YourTango: Surviving Mother's Day When You've Lost Your Mom
Dopamine is the feel-good chemical in the brain's reward system. The emotional drive to get the unmet need met is so powerful, it overrides intelligence. That is why highly successful people are "caught with their pants down." It is not just an issue of choice when sexual drives override and hijack cheaters' brains. The "high" of the encounter with the affair partner literally turns off cognitive functioning in their brains.
Single and married people are equally at risk of having affairs. The unmet needs are the driving force for any affair. Affairs happen all the time and are devastating to all involved. If you need assistance getting past an affair, by all means, ask for it.
3. What are the consequences of affairs? Intense grief brings waves of betrayal to a spouse of a cheater. It has been reported that Holly Petreaus is beyond angry, which is often the first emotion which surfaces in the face of an affair. Following anger, people experience grief in much the same way as losing a loved one to death, only the death is what you thought your relationship once was.
More from YourTango: What Dove Teaches Us About Self-Image & Intimacy
If the spouse leaves the marriage, there is a loss of the cheater's marriage partner and loss of an intact family. If the spouse chooses to stay in the marriage, there is loss of trust in the marriage which takes a lot of time and therapy to repair. Whether or not the marriage remains intact, children experience a loss of security in their home. The spouses of cheaters feel an intense sense of betrayal. Cheaters can also experience loss of career, reputation, friends, income, the affair partner and even loss of life by suicide or homicide.