What To Expect After Infidelity & 7 Ways You Can Cope

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What To Expect After Infidelity & 7 Ways You Can Cope [EXPERT]
Heed these helpful hints to understand sexual betrayal, pornography and addiction.

Phase 1: Denial. Denial is usually only a temporary defense. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of the betrayal and the facts surrounding it. Denial can be a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation

Phase 2: Anger. Once in the second stage, you will recognize that the denial can't continue. Because of anger, you may be feeling out of control and not like yourself. Many betrayed partners can feel "murderous rage" towards their betrayer.

Phase 3: Bargaining. The third stage involves the hope that you can somehow postpone the death of the relationship, such as, "I had a perfect marriage and perfect family.

Phase 4: Depression. During the fourth stage, you begin to understand the certainty of death to the old relationship. Because of this, you spend much of the time crying and grieving. Feeling sad and depressed is part of the healing process, and shows that you have begun to accept the betrayal as reality.

Phase 5: Acceptance. In this last stage, you will come to terms with the betrayal. This stage varies according to the person's situation. You realize that your life will go on, and you can make the best of it for your well-being.

How should you cope?

Here are some steps to take to help you navigate the grief process as you recover from the betrayal:

1. Stop searching for more facts of the betrayal. If you are feeling hurt, the evidence you already have is enough. Be kind to yourself and stop searching for more evidence.

2. Write about your feelings daily. You need a way to process your feelings; keeping a journal is an excellent way to do this. Let words just flow out without editing them on the page. If you don't want any evidence of your feelings, you can burn the journal pages after you write them.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

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Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
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