You both deserve to feel safe with each other again.
4. Be a safe person. Each partner buys into being a safe person for the other. This means that you reflect on your own behavior and ask yourself, "Do I want to be treated the way I am treating my partner?" Other times an individual with insecurity will treat themselves poorly, and treat other people better than they treat themselves. These insecure people need to ask themselves, "Would I treat my best friend as poorly as I am treating myself?" Then change your thoughts and behaviors to be safer for yourself and others. As your insecurity wanes, you become more secure and more able to give to your "baby."
5. Have personal integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Insecure individuals tend to do things to appease others, or to gain approval from others. You may say you will bring a salad to the potluck even though you have no intention of following through. You try to avoid conflict but only delay it. Try instead to say "no" when you don't intend to do something or yes when you will do it. You will be building your own approval of yourself by developing your personal integrity.
6. Schedule time together. Everyone is busy especially if you are balancing work and family. Learn from your insecurities and deepen your emotional connection with your spouse. Couples who do not make time for one another tend to be more insecure. To build security into your relationship, make time to touch base with each other daily and go out on dates regularly. Other examples, can be to text each other through out the work day to keep in touch. Ask your partner how they like to connect and what works best for your relationship.
Couples who follow the tips above are prone to develop a deep sense of happiness and satisfaction. They are stable and proactive in personal growth. If you would like personal assistance with the tips above, feel free to contact me.