Why Katie Holmes Secretly Filed For Divorce

3. Manipulation. Your partner is able to talk in such a way that he/she always gets what they want. Your wishes and desires are not important and may be negated or attacked as threats to the manipulative person's ego. Manipulators are able to get you to question your own reality and buy into their reality.

Scientology is a reality for those who practice it, however, there are many people whose reality is not Scientology, as may be the case for Katie Holmes. This can happen over many years. I have counseled many women who have been manipulated for 20-30 years, and have a hard time even seeing how they have been manipulated.

4. Narcissism. Your partner may suffer from the inability to see another's point of view. If you have ever said, "The world revolves around (insert your partners name)", you may be dealing with someone who has difficulty with empathy. Many people with narcissistic traits suffer from fragile egos which can be treated with counseling.

Watch out for the socialized sociopath; these people are like a "lion in sheep's clothing." They appear tame and charming to draw you in, but you will be attacked over time by being the object of their rage. The more violent the rage, the more likely that there'll be severe consequences for you. You may be feeling unsafe.

5. Protecting Yourself. Develop a plan to address how you are going to live before, during and after the divorce. Pay attention to your feelings. Take action to care for yourself emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. Seek help from trusted friends and family. 

When you talk to your spouse and you come away feeling worse than before, you may need to set some boundaries for your physical and emotional safety. Be careful though: sometimes setting boundaries will make it worse for you.

6. Protecting Children. For Katie, it has been speculated she does not want Suri to be indoctrinated into Scientology. For you, it may be that your child is in danger physically or emotionally from your spouse or people around your spouse. There are many reasons to protect your kids. Put The Kids First: 6 Ways To Tell Them You're Divorcing