Is Porn Sabotaging Your Relationship?

Is Porn Sabotaging Your Relationship?
Love, Heartbreak

Is your partner's porn usage ruining your relationship?

3. Poor communication, including an inability to collaborate and disclose vulnerabilities, be assertive, as well as a lack of empathetic responses.

By not being curious about others, insecure couples will often assume and interpret each other's actions, often giving meaning to their partner's behavior that was never intended. Insecure couples also expect their partner to have the amazing ability to read their mind. For example: "He should just know that I don't like him to spend three hours looking at the computer." Secure couples would be able to say, "I miss you. Can we spend some time together?" They know that their partner will accommodate the request if they can.

4. A sense of self that is more disjointed, simple "black or white," and inarticulate about one's emotional experience, as well as a negative attitude.

People in insecure relationships tend to have negative self images and attitudes. They are not able to identify the emotions they're feeling and therefore cannot share them with another person. They say things like, "I deserve to feel good with porn; my partner nags me a lot." This type of thinking is self-defeating if you want a secure, functioning relationship.

Despite whether you consider sex addiction to be real or not, many authorities are in agreement that porn use and other high-risk sexual behaviors can cause devastating consequences to relationships. Sue Johnson, the highly regarded couples therapist and researcher, has shown impressive results in helping couples move from insecure attachment styles to a more secure, functioning relationship where emotional safety is the goal. We all want to have secure, functioning relationships but they just don't happen by themselves. It takes dedication, committment and work. Secure couples safely build a bridge to each other's emotional self. This emotional attachment and safety is a basic human desire and need.

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