As I grew, my husband tried really hard to be the same person he always had been. He was comfortable with who he was, but I needed more from him. We had a great divide for a decade. We did counseling off and on over the years. When the kids left home, we found ourselves smack dab in empty nest syndrome. 6 Ways To Feel Secure As A Couple
Since I was a counselor, I thought I had prepared myself for this. Through my educational training, I started becoming aware of a "something" that clients experience. Men are visual, not emotional, and want sex. Women are emotional and seek connection before feeling sexual.
This dynamic plays out in various ways in most marriages and partnerships. It is what we learn in this culture. My mind started spinning about what to do. There was only one solution. To start taking care of my emotional needs and let my husband figure out how to take care of his.
After much struggle and growing, I can truely say he is the man I married. It took the support of several counselors in individual and couples counseling for both of us to feel safe enough to deal with and get past our childhood issues. We dealt with all the things everyone else deals with including shame, fear, abandonment and people pleasing.
Our life together has had its ups and downs. But, we are destined to stay close to each other for the rest of our lives. Working through the harder times brought an intimacy between us that is deeper than words can express. I'm hopeful and excited for the next 25 years. By the way, the young couple's wedding we attended was our daughter and her new husband.
You can experience the joy of deeply knowing your partner. Life is an emotional roller coaster and it is much more fulfilling if you have a partner to share it with. Ask for help if you find yourself in a hard spot in your relationship. You deserve to get through it and have a deeply fulfilling relationship for life.