Think He's Cheating? Here's What To Do

Lipstick on his collar?

Six steps to follow when you suspect he's up to no good.

4. Provide physical evidence of the cheating. You may have credit card statements with mysterious charges, photos, sexting dialogue on his phone, hidden email accounts, or apps on his phone to hook up with others for affairs. Show him the evidence. He may deny it until the evidence is actually shown to him.

5. Ask for honesty. After you have confronted him with the evidence of his cheating, ask him to be honest with you. You may want to employ a sex addiction therapist if there is a lot of acting out on his part or a family therapist if is a one-time affair. He may or may not want help with his behavior.

6. Set appropriate physical and emotional boundaries for your personal self-care. Be prepared to set physical and emotional boundaries to keep yourself safe. If he has visited strip clubs or had any sexual interaction with another person, you need to get STD testing for your own knowledge.

Ask him to sleep in a different room or leave your residence. Tell him you need time to think and process the knowledge of his cheating. Most people can choose to wait six months to a year before making a big life decision like breaking up. The time will give you a chance to process your feelings and give him time to prove to you he wants to stop the behavior and continue a relationship with you.

There is hope for couples to work things out after being cheated on. It does require excruciating work for both people in therapy. You both chose each other for a reason and that reason is still there. Do you remember what brought you both together? Ask yourself if it is worth the risk, vulnerability and pain to work it out. The worst thing that happens will be that you break up. The rewards of trying to work on the relationship can be deeply rewarding and deepening of the emotional and sexual intimacy between the two of you.

If you would like more information to make your Couple-ship Thrive please sign up for my newsletter. You may also connect with me on my website Teresa Maples LMHC, CSAT and on twitter.



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