3 Tools To Rekindle Romance In Your Relationship

By

3 Tools To Rekindle Romance In Your Relationship [EXPERT]
Use these three exercises to ignite the flame in your relationship!

For example, my husband and I make salad together in the kitchen and enjoy each other's company in conversation. Both of us share equally in the preparation and conversation. We might enjoy watching television together while chatting about the story and cuddling. Watch out for what is called parallel play.

Parallel play is when two people are in the same room doing the same or different things and emotionally in their own worlds. It looks like sitting on the couch watching television together with no talking, touching or interaction of any kind. Each person is playing in their own way without the others attention, which is not the purpose of this tool."The Dark Knight Rises": Helping Us All To Heal

3. Conversion of personal positive feeling for mutual benefit. This tool involves sharing a personal excitement, such as seeing a beautiful sunset, watching a creative fun video or other fun exciting things that caused you to feel good. Then, converting that positive feeling into a statement your partner can hear.

For example, my husband finds joy in seeing small animals like squirrels when we are walking. If he takes the joy he feels and converts it for me into "I love you so much" or "I'm so lucky to be married to you," then we both feel great. My husband took his joy and converted it to my language so I can then "hear" him and "catch" his excitement. This benefits both of us. Why Katie Holmes Secretly Filed For Divorce

If my husband took his excitement about a squirrel sighting, for example, and said to me "check out that squirrel" excitedly, I may be annoyed he wasn't engaged in our conversation and not paying attention to me. The key to this tool is to convert your excitement into something your partner can get excited about too. Then you both win, with a "hit" of dopamine in your brains and romance in your veins. Help! I Want My Spouse Back. 10 Ways To Engage Your Spouse

Biologically our bodies have a pleasure reward center that can be used to our advantage. Couples can rekindle the romance by trying out these three tools. I dare you. If you need help, ask for it. Couples counselors are experts trained to help you get the romance and fun back. Remember, your mental health is influenced by the quality of your relationship. Have fun and enjoy each other. 5 Love Lessons From Olympic Athletes [EXPERT]

Teresa Maples MS LMHC is an author, licensed mental health counselor and life coach from Gig Harbor, Washington. Connect with me for a Journey to Abundant Life.

Article contributed by

Teresa Maples

Counselor/Therapist

Teresa Maples MS, LMHC, CSAT, CMAT

Wanting something more from your relationship?, Join my newsletter. and you will recieve free practical relationship tools helping you develop a closer more connected relationship.

 

Location: Tacoma, WA
Credentials: CMAT, CSAT, LMHC
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Sex Addiction
Other Articles/News by Teresa Maples:

5 Signs You're Bored Of Your Sex Life...And How To Fix It

By

Affairs are rampant, you may have considered having one yourself. In a recent research article, Ashley Madison surveyed their clients and found that "Women Seek Affairs, Not Divorce". When it comes to long term relationships and marriage it’s easy to turn on the auto pilot switch and neglect each other. You have your life with your friends and ... Read more

Is He Addicted To Porn? 8 Ways To Help Him

By

One of the ways that relationships go sideways is when one or both partners have an addiction. That addiction may be to alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, shopping or even to the Internet, particularly pornography. Recent studies have shown that Internet addictions can actually change brain activity in humans. In a 2014 study porn users had a smaller reward ... Read more

Want A Better Marriage? Look At Each Other

By

Have you ever wondered what it is that attracts us to one person over another? It’s what we see in their eyes. Some call this love at first sight. We recognize something familiar in that person’s gaze, which draws us to them. In long-term relationships, many couples are so focused on raising kids, going to work and dealing with a thousand other ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.