Women want to feel empowered with money, but it may not be a concern for them until they are facing a breakup or divorce. The best way for women to recover from a breakup, is to get comfortable and powerful with money fast. Women Who Attract (or have left!) Mr. Wrong, need different money advice and education than women who don't have, or have never had, man or money drama, and they need a different kind of information than men.
Women have been taught all the wrong things about money for a long time. I grew up believing that women can’t earn money the way men do, and that if I wanted a home and anything nice, I would have to get a guy who could provide it for me. My role was to be a supporter, and I was really good at building men up, massaging their egos, and making sure their careers took off so they would love me out of survival, and into safety and security. It made me attract men who liked being the father figure, or who wanted to control.
As a child, I was encouraged to be a nurse to land a doctor, or to be a secretary to land the boss. It wasn’t wrong, it was just the best advice a girl could get from someone who believed men rule the world, especially where money is concerned. When you come from a time that women really couldn’t survive without a man, it is no surprise that the views and worries were passed on, because at one time, they were real.
By the time I was a junior in high school, marriage was at the top of my list, and college was out of the question. I got my first boyfriend at 15, he was 25. My view of what was possible was already broken. My beliefs about money and about not being able to earn enough for myself to live on made me panic, and caused me to settle for men who had the cash and could provide. Eventually, I had a pretty house that was full, but my heart was empty. I saw tolerating nasty men as the price you have to pay as a woman needing to survive, and I lived that way for years, never thinking that I could just say “this is not my truth.” Options weren’t visible to me because negative beliefs block us from seeing options. I felt disposable, like I was just a girl~nothing with real value or power, because value and power come from money and men. I was stuck.
It honestly didn’t occur to me that I could challenge this perspective at any time, and when you are surrounded by people in your environment who support such a negative or limiting belief about women, or about your ability, it is reinforced so deeply into your psyche that you accept this untruthful way of living as your own without question, and it starts to become true.
After many years of living this way, a niggling little feeling started to rise in me. I felt more powerful than I behaved, but I was afraid to challenge my life. I could see myself creating amazing things and having tremendous impact~if only I could figure out the how; if only I was not paralyzed from taking action. I dabbled in a few things, had some success~then retreated in fear that I might not make it work out~and then everyone would be right, and I really would be trapped in a life I didn’t want, with zero value, zero power, and a man who wasn’t nice to me...just to have a roof over my head.