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Why Rihanna & Other Celebrities Love 'Bad Men'

Rihanna

Find out why some women like Rihanna stay (unfortunately) in toxic, damaging relationships.

Recent reports of the professional collaboration between Rihanna and Chris Brown are a little irritating. If Rihanna is this close to Chris Brown, she is in over her head. You cannot be half in and half out of a relationship with destructive men like Brown.

Women like Rihanna who are targeted by self-serving or toxic men like Chris Brown have certain qualities that make them more appealing and worthy of a hot pursuit after his fists fly and it all crumbles. It’s hard to find women who tolerate on this level so Brown is driven to get her back on his good side and it looks like he's done a good job. Make Today A Love Checkup Day

When women like Rihanna get sucked back in, it’s because they don’t know how they are being played. Brown gets to save his reputation, at Rihanna’s expense because her going near him makes everyone wonder how he could be so bad? It also makes us less sympathetic to her and she loses credibility. I want to scream yet I should know better. I have more understanding than most about these issues because I’ve walked this walk myself but a reunion was bound to happen, it’s par for the course. Sadly, Rihanna is proving herself to be a toxic relationship type. 3 Ways To Get Over Your Ex & Not Get Sucked Back In

When you are a toxic relationship type, it’s like you have an addiction to the drama and intensity within relationships. You attract bad men by default and give them lots of chances.  You also have a hard time recovering from them or aren't fully recovered when contact is made again so you are always at risk of returning when these guys turn on the charm, the apologies, the tears, and the friendship, because you lead into relationships without any self protection. Do Men Really Prefer Bitches?

Many celebrity women attract "Mr. Wrongs" repeatedly. Shaking these guys and starting over is just as hard for them as it is for the rest of us. Rihanna is clearly not the only "A-Lister" to have such major man drama in her life. Others include (the late) Whitney Houston, Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, Sandra Bullock, Christie Brinkley and her daughter Alexa Ray and even Halle Berry, who admittedly contemplated suicide after one of her breakups. These issues run deep and last a lifetime; they are not coincidental. Women who attract toxic men and bad relationships share exaggerated levels of certain characteristics that get them trapped and keep them stuck.

For starters, they lead with more empathy and compassion for others by putting themselves last without even thinking twice about it, even when it puts them in harms way, often drawing the conclusion about other people too quickly, or too soon. Their radars are way off, it’s more than being unsuspecting.

Women who attract poor quality or damaging relationships don’t ever want to embarrass someone or make them feel bad even when they know how harmful a guy is. Their heart aches for his pain, and because they want to buffer the pain others feel, their automatic reaction is to be understanding, to console, and to befriend. They think they can offer this comfort (be friends) and still stay away. They actually cannot do this because they lead with their hearts and get sucked back in easily with the hopes that he is a good guy who made a big mistake, when in reality, he is a bad guy who showed good stuff to get her invested.These women have the most desirable relationship qualities, but when they are shared with the wrong person it has disastrous consequences for them.

Women like Rihanna walk through the world believing everyone has the capacity to change so they give chance after chance where the rest of us would call it quits and write the guy off as a loser. We see the pattern but she does not. Women who go back to bad men only look at the last bad thing done and they see the guy is trying to fix it. They focus on how sad he must feel to have hurt them, instead of that he did harm her. They don’t see that the sadness he expresses is most likely about him losing her. His bruised ego is what causes his pain, it isn’t that he feels remorse at his core. 3 Tricks To Stop Yourself From Taking Him Back

These women are loyal to a fault and honor commitments no matter what, continually trying to make unworkable relationships work, thinking the effort they put in will be matched. They will not tire until the pattern becomes visible to them and wears them down. Until Rihanna sees the pattern and gets tired, we can expect more of the same. Rihanna and women like her have to set up a system to keep their kind hearts away from these guys.

Here are 5 things Rihanna could do to keep away from Chris Brown:

1. Notice that her radar is way off.

2. Look for patterns to remind herself (hourly), what he did to her.

3. Establish a "No Contact" rule to support herself in staying away. This means no texts, no phone calls, no tweets, no reference to him, no eye contact, no email, NOTHING.

4. Understand what is being triggered in her when he contacts her. She should know that, for her, rejecting or turning the bad guy away will make her feel like she is damaging and hurting him and because that is not something she would ever do intentionally, she will try to be kind and gentle instead, which ends up getting her sucked back in.

5. Choose how she responds to the triggers. She should see the "No Contact" rule like this: by deflecting him and his efforts to reconnect with her, she is not doing anything to him or hurting him. She is simply taking care of herself. Putting herself first does help him in the end because she will finally break the cycle that is sure to repeat.

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