Strategies Toxic Men Use To Undermine Women

By

Strategies Toxic Men Use To Undermine Women
The unspoken truth is, many relationships cannot ever change or grow.

Women in unchangeable (toxic) relationships typically have the same expectations that they would have of changeable (normal) relationships, and so they get caught up waiting and expecting the situation to get back to the "normal" they saw in the beginning.  The tactics and actions I mentioned above play a total head game on her, and keep her second guessing herself and always wondering if she was right about the beginning and he changed, or if she had assessed him incorrectly right from the start, and he deceived her.

She cannot decipher which is the real guy~the vulnerable one she met in the beginning, the one who acts normal for the long stretches of time, or the nutty one who is playing head games?  Or, she wonders, is it her?  In the day to day moments, she questions herself because he acts like she is imagining all the stuff she is experiencing.  She starts to wonder if perhaps she IS misunderstanding him.  Privately, she thinks, "Could it have been my mistaken memory...did I forget...is he really right and he never did say X, or agree to Y..." but then she remembers he did....and the cycle in her mind continues. Again, it's a total head game and these warped guys are very good at it, and convincing.

If you notice these strategies or a pattern of incomplete follow through, start watching to see if there is a lot of word play going on, or if you feel he is being secretive. Watch to make sure the changes you requested happen, and if so, how long did they last, because improvements don't last long with these guys.

This is crazy-making stuff, and it's not easy to see when you're in it, but if you do, or if you notice it in hindsight, you are already a step ahead of most women, and on your way to breaking free, and finding a peaceful, normal relationship.  It is not unusual for the breakup to be very difficult and unending, by the way, so expect a long journey, and if it starts wearing you down, check out my Women-Centered Start Over Programs to get yourself completely free and trusting yourself again quickly.

This article was originally published at Teagin Maddox. Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Teagin Maddox~The Start Over Expert

Author

Teagin Maddox~Start Over Expert
BA (Hons), CPC, Certified Toxic Relationship Specialist
Break Up Safety Training, Break Up / Divorce Recovery Programs,
& Safe Dating Courses for Women
www.teaginmaddox.com
212-799-0420

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: CPC, CRC, Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Financial Stress, Life Management
Other Articles/News by Teagin Maddox~The Start Over Expert:

Valentine’s Day Survival Guide

By

Valentine’s Day is the day to measure relationship successes and failures.  If destructive love has been your norm, or you’ve recently had a tough break up, you can end up rehashing years of unhappiness if you don’t take control of the day and use it to your advantage. Start the day by declaring your love life a toxic-free zone, and ... Read more

From Soul-Mate to Soul-Hate

By

If you expected your troubles to end after your relationship did but you are still having a hard time moving on, you may have been with a destructive or abusive partner. When you breakup from a destructive man, the past continually resurfaces, your breakup seems to go on forever, and anticipating a better future feels impossible despite how much time goes ... Read more

Nigella Lawson Teaches Abused Women A Lesson In Moving On

By

If you try to assert yourself or stand your ground with a destructive partner, prepare for the backlash. Destructive and abusive men punish women who say, "no." Nigella Lawson is experiencing this right now. When her husband of 10 years, Charles Saatchi, 71, was photographed grabbing her by the neck and prodding her nose during an argument at a ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB