If you have a toxic ex-husband, establish a No Contact Rule. Take it literally and use it seriously!
On March 27, 2012, Christie Brinkley made an appearance on The Today Show to promote her role on the hit Broadway show Chicago, but Matt Lauer found it more enjoyable to grill her about her ex and even implied she should just stop the battle to protect her children. He couldn't have been more clueless or insensitive about her situation and he was ill-prepared for the interview he forced on her, as he knew nothing about narcissistic or personality disordered men.
Had Lauer been even slightly interested in her story, he may not have been such a bully. He didn't hear or appreciate what Brinkley was so delicately trying to say, and he didn't try to elaborate on anything that mattered; it was one of his worst interviews ever. Christie Brinkley's Nasty Divorce Makes Her Break Down On "Today"
Four years after her divorce, Christie Brinkley hasn't been able to fully move on because she continues to be subtly tormented by her ex in various ways, but Lauer didn't want to hear that. Women who mistakenly loved psychopaths in the past are often made out to be the trouble-makers while the one creating all the drama sits back and grins. These kind of men have an eerie calm and a manipulative edge to them that can be felt once you are aware of them. We should start listening to the women who are trying to explain that. This kind of man is extremely toxic.
When women get caught up with damaging men like Brinkley has, it can take years to realize it because these men are crafty, smooth and create the appearance of being completely normal...which makes men like Matt Lauer miss the point entirely. What we need is more open communication about this kind of relationship; it isn't as uncommon as you'd think. Why Rihanna & Other Celebrities Love 'Bad Men'
Destructive men catch good women. They are often very successful and charming and they are extremely difficult to spot in the beginning, partly because they don't reveal themselves fully, and they certainly don't show themselves to be so messed up to the outside world. Instead, they look kind, giving and driven, making them fit right in. Their issues come out slowly, and in very confusing and contrasting ways once they are in intimate relationships. Until you are intimate with one, you will most likely assume he is a normal guy and he'll probably look like a good catch compared to other men.
Most women aren't going to go to such lengths as Brinkley has to stay quiet about an ex who causes so much trouble in their lives. That silence and delicate way she tries to talk about him and her own pain is a big fat clue that she is trying to keep peace—not offend, not stir things up and still protect herself and her children. Garnering a little understanding and support when she was forced to talk about something on the spot isn't too much to ask. She is in deeply troubling territory and probably feels alone and under attack after Lauer. Why Women Lose Money Power & How To Get It Back
When women get caught by toxic men the likes of Christie Brinkley's ex, they can spend years trying to recover and start over. These guys are pros at mind games and word games and keep women spinning, guessing and unsure. They do it guilt free, with a self-righteous and unapologetic attitude. Their demeanor is of ease and they build on the illusion that they are unaffected, calm, purposeful and the victim. Reactions from the women under attack are often out of desperation to be heard and helped, and it only seems to make him look more stable by comparison. This is crazy-making stuff! Christie Brinkley is doing an outstanding job of modeling how to respond to this very difficult situation, but under her beauty, she will be exhausted and broken. Help! My Love Life Is Like A Celebrity's
The No Contact Rule could have been elaborated on in this interview, but Lauer missed the cue while trying to take Brinkley down. She is absolutely right...No Contact is the golden ticket to escape a personality disordered ex. It is one of a few strategies that help women regain some sense of control over their lives, as long as it is taken literally, used seriously and enforced.
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