This is where women get really creative in convincing themselves that it is okay to step back in just a little. Nope. It isn’t okay. You can’t be a little involved with an ex; it’s all or nothing. If you go back, you are stuck again and it will end again, then you’ll just have to start all the break up stuff all over. Stay the course and stay strong; going back to an ex may get you closer to the finish line (marriage/house/kids), but you’ll be further from the goal (happiness/connection/intact family).
Here are 3 Rules to help you stay away from him:
1. NO contact. Yep, this one’s hard, especially if you dropped a few stress pounds, or got yourself a new hairdo and look smashing. I didn’t say you couldn’t walk past him, I just said you can’t have contact! That means, you don’t initiate it in any way and you don’t respond to it in any way. This is when everyone learns if you are really serious about that breakup or not. If you allow contact, well, we know what happens from there now, don’t we? If you said it’s over and you meant it, prove it. NO contact.
2. Pull up a bad memory. Don’t just think about one and brush it off, dig deep...remember how he made you feel when he did that thing? Get pissed off about it again. It will probably get you ranting mad about the other reasons why you dropped him like a fly, which will help you stay away.
3. Chant your Deal Breakers (in your head, please). Figure out the top three things you want from a relationship. I’m assuming he didn’t have one or more of these, or you wouldn’t be reading this, so, if he is missing even one of these, he is toast. No questions asked, no trading one quality for another-which means, no, you can’t do without loyalty because he has six-pack abs or is good in bed. You are not allowed to negotiate with yourself on these! From now on, as soon as you notice one of your deal breaker set missing, it’s over.