Most relationships fail because they lack a clear and articulate vision for their shared future.
Many couples struggle to make decisions together, from their weekly budget, to how to parent their kids, to where they want to take a holiday. The common thread, each and every time, is that those relationships are lacking a clear and articulate vision for their shared future.
So how do successful couples envision their future?
In love, as in business, it is crucial to discuss and agree on shared outcomes towards which you are working. It amazes me that couples spend so much time, energy, and money on their business and yet they don’t invest the same effort into their relationship! They have set their vision, mission, and values for their business, however as a couple they have no direction.
When a couple spends time dreaming together then their focus automatically shifts from grinding their gears day-to-day to actualizing their true purpose – becoming the Rulers of their Kingdom.
You must be clear on the purpose behind every choice or action, then it allows you both to understand not only WHAT it is that you want, but also WHY you want it. When you know the WHY, then you unlock a variety of choices and have a clear criteria to be able to say yes, or no.
Successful couples spend time planning their legacy
The first step is simple, schedule time with your partner to explore your dreams. When you are in a dream space the conversation is about endless possibility – think big and dare greatly. Take yourselves forward 100 years and consider how you would like to be remembered as a couple. From this you can develop your vision – a statement of purpose.
Ask yourself “How do we envision that the world will be different as a result of our work, our relationship, and our lives”.
In the context of a relationship you can look at the legacy that you would like to leave. Perhaps your legacy is for your children, your community, or future generations. When you have a very clear vision as a couple it becomes a strong motivator for all of your planning and decisions.
Next step is to create your mission. This is a statement of action – what is it that you are going to do in order to realise the vision you have created? A shared vision and mission is the key to a long happy relationship, and the results will flow into your business. Ask yourselves are you trail blazers? Or are you happy to influence within your existing sphere? The scale is up to you, the action occurs regardless. You only need decide whether to act with volition or apathy.
Lastly have a conversation with your partner about values. Often couples complain that their values are simply too different for them to succeed. I call B.S, because your values are a choice. Consider the values you had as a child, a teenager, and a young adult. Different much? The key is to assess whether you are getting the results you want with your current relationship values. I recommend that you brainstorm together and then agree on the top 5 for you as a couple. These could be very different to your personal or financial values, business values, or spiritual values.
A great top 5 are love, kindness, passion, growth, playfulness.
As you step together into your future, every action you take and decision you make will reflect your vision. What that means is you no longer need to agonise over every decision because it is clear whether or not it will support your vision. The actions you take are steps on the way to each milestone of your shared journey. And how you handle challenges is a reflection of your values.
Now that you both have a common purpose, a plan of how to get there and a shared culture, you’re able to explore many different avenues to achieve it. Now you are truly working as a team to actualize your dreams.
Tara Whitewood works with couples in business to combine strategy and love. She provides a modern alternative to a Marriage/Relationship Counsellor.
She works with couples to create the same structures & systems in their relationship as their business, from the mindset of success to implementing the day-to-day strategies and tactics required to create a loving, passionate, joyful relationship.
Tara offers sessions via Skype, or face-to-face for Newcastle and the Central Coast.
This article was originally published at The Sugar Doctor. Reprinted with permission from the author.