An Open Letter To The Future Wife Of My Asperger's Child

By

A mother's advice: marrying a man with Asperger's
Practical love advice from a proud mom who's also married to a man with autism.

4. He is laser-focused on whatever he is doing at the time. So when he is thinking about or doing something that doesn't involve you, he is not thinking about you. It's not that he has stopped caring about you; he simply trusts you'll be okay until he's finished doing whatever it is he's doing. In the same regard, when he is focused on anything, the whole world disappears to him. He can work on a project, play a video game, or read for hours and not have to stop to eat, pee, check on you, or anything else. And he is not doing that to "escape" or avoid anything; he's really just that into it.

5. He doesn't want to have to explain how or why he knows certain things — he just does. And the fact that you don't is just irritating to him. He loves to teach, but he gets annoyed that there are things you don't already know.

 

6. He is honest and literal to a fault. If he doesn't like something, he will tell you. If you ask him a question and he gives you an answer, don't doubt it or think he has an ulterior motive, because he doesn't. Manipulation is not one of his traits. This is also why you should never ask him questions like, "Do you think I need to lose weight?" or "Do you like my mother?"

7. He gets very defensive when he is embarrassed or scolded. He views it as disrespectful and has no tolerance for it. The upside is that he will understand when you call him out for embarrassing you, even if what he said was "the truth."

8. If you don't communicate with him, he will make you miserable without even realizing he's doing it. If he says something that hurts your feelings, tell him! If you want to tell him something but you just need for him to listen and not give you his advice on it, tell him. If he's constantly correcting you and you want him to stop ... tell him! It's in his nature to correct and fix everything, including himself, but he can't do that if you don't tell him what needs fixing.

9. He is extremely schedule-driven. Being late is a sign of laziness, and last-minute changes drive him crazy. This also means every project will take twice as long to complete due to his need for planning, preparation and research.

10. Emotions are, in his opinion, silly, distracting, and inefficient. Crying and drama just kill the possibility of a good debate. At the same time, when he's arguing with you and gets heated, he's not trying to be dramatic, he's just passionate about making you understand that he's right. 

Article contributed by

Tara Kennedy-Kline

Author

Love Unconditionally, Give Freely, Laugh Openly, Learn Daily, Grow Immensely

Location: Shoemakersville, PA
Credentials: CFC, CLC
Other Articles/News by Tara Kennedy-Kline:

Why Your "Confident" Kid Is Actually Arrogant (Mine Was Too)

By

I like to believe that I'm raising pretty confident, polite children. I've done all the uplifting, motivational stuff—like creating affirmations and making the lists of things we are grateful for. My kids are known for saying things like: "Give your best," and "Learn from your mistakes." So, when I eavesdropped on my oldest ... Read more

Kids Crave Attention? 3 Ways To Put A Stop To That, STAT! [VIDEO]

By

Let us start by saying that we love our kids wholeheartedly and unconditionally. But from one parent to another, is there anything more frustrating than being interrupted at the absolute worst times? Honestly, it sometimes feels as if our kids will do anything to grab our attention, even if it means becoming a permanent fixture in our conversations. While ... Read more

How To Stop Your Kid From Being A Quitter [VIDEO]

By

As a parent, seeing our kids get stressed out can feel pretty awful. Whether it's struggling with homework or being frustrated when trying new activities such as playing a sport or joining a clug, it can be hard to watch our children fail. But what's even worse is when our family is so afraid of failing that they would rather quit that stick it ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular