It's been months or even years since your breakup, but are you really over it? Find out if you are!
As much as we wish it were different, there is no way around it, it takes time to recover and let go of a serious relationship. I seriously wish I had understood that need for the time to recover when I ended a serious relationship that was headed towards marriage.
Since I was the one to end things, I thought I was ready to date again, but in reality I was deeply wounded in ways I didn’t even realize. Instead of taking the time to heal I threw myself into one relationship after another. The results were disastrous. It was one man after another who had issues.
Eventually, this led me to the lowest point of my life. I was extremely depressed and felt unworthy of love. It was then I decided to make it my mission to figure out why this kept happening to me and when I did, share my secrets with other women who were struggling in love.
From my personal experiences, research and work with clients who have gone similar journeys, I began to see patterns emerge that strongly indicated they still needed to let go of their ex before they could attract the relationship they desired.
The people you attract seem to have more and more issues
At first the men I attracted were alright, but they all seemed to have some sort of issue. Over time with each man the issues seemed to get worse and worse.
Everyone we attract is a reflection of ourselves. The issues we see in others are simply a reflection of the issues we have ourselves. The issues might not be outwardly displayed in the same way, but underneath there are wounds from past relationships that have not been healed.
As I attracted more and more men with issues, I began to create deeper wounds for myself around my worthiness to have a happy, healthy relationship. The deeper my wounds became, the deeper the wounds were in the men I attracted.
If you attract people with deeper and deeper wounds, it’s time to take a look on the inside.
The people you attract are all talk but no action
If a person talks a big game, but doesn’t follow up with action, I can guarantee there are parts of them that need to be healed before a healthy relationship can form. Again, since these people are just a reflection of you, it is a clear indication there is still healing work to be done on your part as well.
At one point on my journey, I had a man tell me he loved me, wanted to marry me and have children with me, but he wouldn’t even commit to a monogamous relationship to see what developed. Talk about adding more pain on top of the self-esteem issues I already experienced.
These people may know what they want and even see it in front of them, but fear about the past keeps them from turning talk into action. A person who is really over their ex and has let go of the past will combine talk with action.
You still see your ex in a very positive or negative light
If you still think about how great or horrible your ex was, it is a sign that there is still an attachment to the past relationship.
For years I carried a story around with me that sabotaged my self-esteem and future relationships. I believed my last serious relationship was with "Mr. Perfect." He was a great guy and any woman would be lucky to find a catch like him, which was true but wasn’t the whole story.
Because of this story, my subconscious believed that if I couldn’t make a relationship work with "Mr. Perfect" how would I ever be able to make it work with anyone else? I created a story that I was a failure at relationships and watched this belief play out in my life over and over again.
In reality, there were issues in the relationship. Until I could see the truth, both good and bad, I couldn’t move past the story that negatively affected my relationships. It’s when you get closer feelings of neutrality and see things for what they really were, you are really ready to open your heart again to a healthy relationship.
If you are ready to heal your heartache, so you can finally experience the relationship you desire, then I invite you to sign up for my free mini e-course 5 Hidden Blocks That Sabotage Love where you will learn how to bust through the hidden blocks that keep your past wounds alive.