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A Look At Your Future Relationship

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A Look At Your Future Relationship
Texting, IMing, Facebook...is it all cheating? Include your partner in the fun now.

This is the first time in history that we can cheat on our partner while lying in bed next to them; on our laptop and handheld devices. Cybersex, pornography on the internet and Facebook create avenues of exploration for all spouses who are interested in a quick jolt of infidelity. What does this say for the future of your relationship?

Can marriage, as we know it, survive?

More from YourTango: Can A Retreat Save Your Marriage?

The reality of relationships is that monogamy is a choice. Getting married and saying “I do” is not a one-time inoculation against infidelity, according to Peggy Vaughn, author of The Monogamy Myth. http://www.drtammynelson.com/books/

Staying faithful is a choice we make every day. With the overwhelming opportunity for internet connection with virtual partners heretofore unknown, the challenge is to keep one’s attention focused on a partner in a face to face and direct way and not on a fantasy screen to screen relationship.

Integrating the new technology into your current relationship may be a way to keep things alive and passionate. The idea is not to stop texting, IMing, Facebooking or emailing. These technical ways of communicating are part of our lives now. The future is here. Use all of these tech skills to improve your current relationship, don’t let them separate you.

Here’s a challenge: once a day at least text your partner an appreciation. Let them know you are thinking of them in an email. Post something juicy on their Facebook page. Distract them with YOU. In this ultra distractible age, why not find ways to remind your partner electronically that you care for them?

Be creative. Come up with your own abbreviations when you text each other, create your own language. Instead of “TTYL” (talk to you later) try “TTYLIBCW” (talk to you later in bed can’t wait!)

As couples strive to maintain intimacy with each other in a committed partnership, staying attached to each other doesn’t have to be a challenge. Use the future to create a more passionate and intimate connection now.

TTYNTIHTGTMH (talk to you next time I have to go text my husband!)

More from YourTango: The One Thing All Mothers Really Want For Mother's Day


Tammy Nelson, PHD is a sex and relationship expert and the author of Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together. Connect with her at http://www.drtammynelson.com


 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tammy Nelson

Counselor/Therapist

Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC http://www.drtammynelson.com/ email me at tammy@drtammynelson.com

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Tammy Nelson:

Can A Retreat Save Your Marriage?

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Laura was contemplating the  end of her marriage.  She and her husband Bill had been married for eighteen years, and had two young children.  The marriage was not in a major crisis, but was definitely in ‘maintenance’ mode.  Sex was once a month unless it was someone’s birthday.   They barely spoke to each other ... Read more

The One Thing All Mothers Really Want For Mother's Day

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Being a mom is the hardest job of all time. I don't care what anyone says. It's hard. And I have a hard job. I am a couples' therapist and an author. All day long in the office I see couples who fight, couples who can't stand being in the same room with each other, couples who are grieving, who feel betrayed, who struggle. It's hard ... Read more

The One Thing That Will Save Your Relationship After An Affair

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You may have noticed that not feeling appreciated was a big issue for both of you long before the affair—this is more common in couples than you might think. When we meet a man for the first time, one of the first things we ask is what they do for a living. This makes it sound as if we appreciate his accomplishments more than who he is as a ... Read more

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