This is the first time in history that we can cheat on our partner while lying in bed next to them; on our laptop and handheld devices. Cybersex, pornography on the internet and Facebook create avenues of exploration for all spouses who are interested in a quick jolt of infidelity. What does this say for the future of your relationship?
Can marriage, as we know it, survive?
The reality of relationships is that monogamy is a choice. Getting married and saying “I do” is not a one-time inoculation against infidelity, according to Peggy Vaughn, author of The Monogamy Myth. http://www.drtammynelson.com/books/
Staying faithful is a choice we make every day. With the overwhelming opportunity for internet connection with virtual partners heretofore unknown, the challenge is to keep one’s attention focused on a partner in a face to face and direct way and not on a fantasy screen to screen relationship.
Integrating the new technology into your current relationship may be a way to keep things alive and passionate. The idea is not to stop texting, IMing, Facebooking or emailing. These technical ways of communicating are part of our lives now. The future is here. Use all of these tech skills to improve your current relationship, don’t let them separate you.
Here’s a challenge: once a day at least text your partner an appreciation. Let them know you are thinking of them in an email. Post something juicy on their Facebook page. Distract them with YOU. In this ultra distractible age, why not find ways to remind your partner electronically that you care for them?
Be creative. Come up with your own abbreviations when you text each other, create your own language. Instead of “TTYL” (talk to you later) try “TTYLIBCW” (talk to you later in bed can’t wait!)
As couples strive to maintain intimacy with each other in a committed partnership, staying attached to each other doesn’t have to be a challenge. Use the future to create a more passionate and intimate connection now.
TTYNTIHTGTMH (talk to you next time I have to go text my husband!)
Tammy Nelson, PHD is a sex and relationship expert and the author of Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together. Connect with her at http://www.drtammynelson.com