Why Is it So Hard To Talk to Each Other?


Why Is it So Hard To Talk to Each Other?
It can feel impossible to talk to your partner; is it your style thats making it so hard?

When you are frustrated with your partner, communicating your feelings may be a good way to get it out.  

But sometimes we are afraid to talk to our partner about our needs.


Discussing an unmet or a problem with your partner could lead  to an argument or confrontation.  You might end up feeling every time you have a confrontation that your partner just doesn’t get it.

This may be a pattern of communication that you are both locked into.  This pattern  can make you feel stuck and frustrated, even hopeless. 

When you try to talk you may feel that you are going around in circles.  If this happens often, you may be stuck in a distance/pursuer pattern. 

In this communication pattern one of you avoids conflict and retreats from difficult conversations, while the other gets angry and feels abandoned when their feelings are not heard. This leads to a stand off.  When this happens the problem you wanted to talk about never gets discussed.

Are you a pursuer or distancer in your relationship?  Do you avoid conflict or start arguments to get your point across?  Your style of communication may be the one thing keeping you from being heard.

Try pushing your edge - change your style a little bit.  If you are a distancer, try staying present just a few moments longer then you normally would.  And if you are a pursuer, give your partner a little more space.

You may find that changing your style helps you to avoid getting stuck.

For more information on relationships contact Dr Tammy Nelson at www.drtammynelson.com


Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tammy Nelson


Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC http://www.drtammynelson.com/ email me at tammy@drtammynelson.com

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Tammy Nelson:

How Did You Know About His Affair? Maybe You're Psychic


Most of us have an intuitive sense that we either dismiss or tell ourselves is just our "imagination." But sometimes that intuition is telling us something important about our relationship; perhaps even insight on whether your partner has or will have an affair.  Intuition is defined as "the ability to understand something immediately, ... Read more

Miserable In Your Marriage? 3 Signs That Divorce Is The Next Step


You have been thinking about leaving your marriage for a while. Tossing and turning through each sleepless night, you struggle with one burning question: "Should I leave?" Here's what you need to know before you make that final decision.  First, no one can decide for you. It is only you who can make the choice to dissolve your marriage. ... Read more

Would You Stay Together If Your Partner Cheats?


If you have ever been cheated on, you know the pain and heartache that comes from betrayal. The hurt can last a long time, maybe even years.  So why should you stay?  Your friends and family will tell you “once a cheater, always a cheater.” But is that always the case? These days, 65% of couples stay together after an ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular