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WEINERS INTERNET INFIDELITY – IS IT STILL MONOGAMY IF YOU ONLY CH

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WEINERS INTERNET INFIDELITY – IS IT STILL MONOGAMY IF YOU ONLY CH
Is it cheating if its online and in photos, texts and emails?
Is it cheating if its online and in photos, texts and emails?


By Tammy Nelson, PhD

If your husband was sending texts of his penis to other women would you feel like he was cheating? 

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Probably.  Most women feel betrayed when their partner has any kind of sexual contact with other women.  The internet is no different.


By Tammy Nelson, PhD

If your husband was sending texts of his penis to other women would you feel like he was cheating? 


Probably.  Most women feel betrayed when their partner has any kind of sexual contact with other women.  The internet is no different.


Anthony Weiner, Congressional Representative from New York, was recently caught with his pants down, photographing his wiener.  Weiner sent those photos to some of his female followers on twitter.  His constituents either played along and requested the photos, or like one ex-porn star claimed today in a news conference, she resisted his attempts to send photos and only engaged in verbal banter online. 


Weiner insists he never had sex with the women he “sexted” online.  He only sent naked photos of himself and pictures of his penis online.  And, as the recently released transcripts of his messages read, he also sent lurid descriptions of himself and his “package.”    Maybe the idea here is not to determine whether or not he had sex, but to talk about whether or not he was monogamous.


Monogamy is actually a legal term which means being married to one person, as opposed to polygamy which means being married to more than one person at a time.   We use the term monogamy interchangeably with sexual fidelity which means being faithful to one sexual partner.


So, legally, Anthony Weiner was actually monogamous.  However, his explicit monogamy agreement is a legal agreement that Weiner made with his wife.  Wiener and his wife, an aid to Hilary Clinton, also had an implicit monogamy expectation. She assumed that he would stay faithful to her.  It sounds like he thought he was still being faithful when he said,


“I never had sex with these women.”


Couples normally don’t discuss their expectations of monogamy. They assume that monogamy means the same thing to each of them when they get married or enter into a committed partnership.  Some men feel that going to strip clubs is not a broken expectation of the monogamy agreement; strippers don’t count.  Sometimes women feel they can have an emotional relationship online with a man outside of their marriage and that doesn’t count as cheating.


Have a talk with your partner today about what your expectations are of your relationship.  Ask questions. Be direct.  Explore all of the social media that each of you participate in and ask each other “What constitutes cheating?”

More from YourTango: Is Technology Ruining Your Sex Life?

Next: Anythony Weiner is good friends with Bill Clinton, and the two had similar defenses.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tammy Nelson

Counselor/Therapist

Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC http://www.drtammynelson.com/ email me at tammy@drtammynelson.com

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Tammy Nelson:

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