Appreciations can be broader too. You can also say, "I really appreciate what a good father you are to our children.") Coming up with ways that show you see what your partner does, that you notice that your partner is trying, can begin to shift your relationship onto a new path to recovery.
In a daily list of neverending to-do's, expressing appreciation can come at the bottom. When that list grows longer and your partner doesn't seem to be helping to lighten the load, resentment can build. Whereas it used to be a daily expression of delight, appreciation may now be merely a bone tossed for good behavior when one of you completes a chore around the house.
If you don't feel appreciated (or worse, if you feel criticized) you will be vulnerable to anyone outside of your relationship who makes you feel special or valued. It can be very tempting to move toward someone who flatters you when you feel your partner only points out what you do wrong.
Remember, monogamy takes practice. What do you need to practice in your relationship to have what you desire? As you explore this question, you'll learn—from your partner and yourself—how you can create a more loving, connected and fulfilling relationship for the both of you.
For more information on creating your new monogamy and a new relationship together, go to www.drtammynelson.com.