New Years resolutions, for men only
Men and women are different. This seems like an obvious statement. Yet when it comes to New Year’s resolutions, the sexes do it differently. Men focus on resolutions like “make more money” or “lose weight.” But they don’t normally set up a system or strategy to make that happen. They may have goals for the upcoming New Year, but they tend to focus more on global hopes and dreams and less on step by step intentions for accomplishing their vision.
Males are primarily driven by tasks, and given a mission, they will move toward the ultimate goal, setting up steps to accomplish the end result as they go. This is somewhat different than it is for women. Women will many times make resolutions that are emotionally driven, and tend to make plans for their resolutions that are more specific, but then feel more disappointed in themselves when they don’t achieve them. These unrealistic expectations can include things like extreme diet plans or impractical daily exercise. Women don’t set time limits nor do they set up daily goals to make the bigger goal more manageable.
One way that men can use New Year’s resolutions in 2011 is to focus on the goal of their larger mission, without being so vague as to make the resolution almost meaningless. Deciding on one small change that they can integrate daily makes the mission manageable and clear with a set of definable goals and reasonable time limits. For example, if the ultimate goal is to lose weight, one might define a smaller daily goal to drink one glass of water with each meal. This way the focus on a smaller task leads toward a greater mission of weight loss.
For men, maintaining a sense of personal integrity is important to the development of self esteem. Meeting manageable goals helps a man to define who he is in the world. “I am a man who drinks more water” is more effective then “I am a guy trying to lose weight.” Any positive steps that can be compartmentalized into a smaller goal will help a man see himself as successful in the world, which helps to further his ultimate desires.
Tammy Nelson PhD is a Sex and Relationship expert and the author of “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together” –