The Key to Great Sex: Planning A Sex Date


The Key to Great Sex: Planning A Sex Date

Keep your expectations open and reasonable. If the date doesn’t live up to your expectations, remember that this night is about sexual connection and sensuality. Massage, communication and sharing fantasies can make this an important night of sensual pleasures.

Anticipating sex is part of rejuvenating the excitement of sexuality. In our busy lives most of us make time for what is crucial to our survival; work, sleep, food. But sex and passion are important to the survival of your relationship. Making time for eroticism means you can still be spontaneous, if you are sure to mark it in your calendars every week.

Summary: Schedule a sex date at the same time or day every week. Turn your bedroom into a sacred space, decorate it with flowers or candles, and turn on soft music and soft lighting. Change your sheets and scent the room. Ironically, spontaneity only happens when you plan it!

To really make this advice work, you need to follow these action steps to complete today's challenge.

Right now, I want you to:

Schedule a time for once a week, every week, at the same time, to meet your lover for a special sex date! Dedicate this sacred time to your erotic life. Make it a sexy rendez-vous that you both look forward to. Write it in your calendars and plug it into your BlackBerries now!

Within 7 days I want you to:

Have your first sex date: Remind your partner several days in advance that you can’t wait for your sex date. Build the anticipation. Leave each other notes on the mirror, in his briefcase, whisper fantasies in her ear about what you are looking forward to on your sex date. When the time comes, prepare the room with candles, soft music, satin sheets and share a long sexy massage.

By the end of the challenge I want you to:

Review your sex dates so far: Tell your partner three things you have appreciated about your sex dates this month. Go over what has worked for both of you and what you hope to try during future dates. Add one fantasy to the schedule now and put it in your calendars. Remember, anticipation is half the fun!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tammy Nelson


Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC email me at

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
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