How Did You Know About His Affair? Maybe You're Psychic

crystal ball
Love, Heartbreak

Find out if your partner is cheating through developing intuition and psychic ability. Learn how.

Most of us have an intuitive sense that we either dismiss or tell ourselves is just our "imagination." But sometimes that intuition is telling us something important about our relationship; perhaps even insight on whether your partner has or will have an affair

Intuition is defined as "the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning," or, "a thing that one knows or considers likely from instinctive feeling rather than conscious reasoning." 

There is a difference between our cognitive process and our gut instinct. We process our experiences in our brains. But a good part of our reasoning sense also includes our intuition.  

When we just “know something” we are experiencing  intuition.  When we experience a flash of insight or a vision of something that hasn't happened yet, we call that psychic experience. 

There are several different types of psychic experience: clairvoyance, or 'clear seeing'; clairaudience, which means 'clear hearing';  clairsentience, which means 'clear feeling' and claircognizance which is 'clear knowing'. 

There are also lesser known types of psychic abilities; clairgustance, which is 'clear tasting'; clairolfaction, which is 'clear smelling', and clairtangency, which is 'clear touch'. 

Clair, which is French for "clear," means that these senses are super tuned in, or extra, and may be outside of our ordinary experience. But for those that are tuned in to them or sensitive, they are as real as every day hearing or tasting. 

These psychic senses help us tune into our environment and to other people. Some of us use them every day without realizing it. Others develop them through purposeful study with meditation or through study groups. (See Melanie Barnum, author of the newly released Psychic Abilities for Beginners; Awaken Your Intuitive Senses, just released by Llewllyn Publishers)

Most have at least one of these skills, although it may be dormant or undeveloped. You may remember being more in touch with your psychic ability as a child, and have now lost some of what felt natural when you were growing up. 

Joanna grew up in a family with an alcoholic father. Her mother and brother rarely talked about her father's drinking problem. Joanna had a keen sense of her mother's intense fear when her father came home after work, even though her mother never talked openly about her concerns. When Joanna was 4 years old she remembers hearing the tires of her fathers car turn into the driveway and she could tell, after only a brief second of time, whether her father had been drinking after work or not. She tells the story,

"I could sense from the sound of my father's car when it was hundreds of yards from our house what would happen throughout the rest of the night. And it wasn't like his tires were screeching, he wouldn't drive particularly fast or slow, but I would get this feeling all through my body, it was like small butterflies on my head, and they would touch me all over, and then I would see, really see, like a movie, a picture of the coming night. Sometimes I would see us all at the dinner table and it would be tense, but alright. That would mean my dad wouldn't start drinking till later."

"But sometimes the butterflies would be like bees stinging me and they would be frantic all over me and I would get these flashes of the night ahead, and my father throwing dishes and pushing my mother and screaming and him being so drunk that terrible things would happen."

"When I saw those images I would run downstairs and push my mother out of the kitchen and up to her bedroom, and grab my brother and lock us in her room. I would cry and tell them to be quiet, and throw myself against the door so he couldn’t get in. Most times he would find us and be drunk, just like I thought."

"As I got older, I would get those flashes and me and my brother would run and hide under our beds, or even run to a neighbors house. The visions started earlier in the day as I got older, too. I would be sitting in school and I would know if things were going to be bad that night and I just wouldn't come home."

It is common in dysfunctional homes for children to over develop their psychic ability in order to survive, it can become an important part of their strategy for resilience and coping. 

Perhaps in our ancient history man had these senses well developed, and relied on them to hunt and gather in an age where there were no GPSs to track prey or to find the tribe when traveling across great empty spaces. Our intuition may have served us well when we had to judge danger and it helped to have heightened clairaudience or clairsentience. 

Today, in an urban setting where we are bombarded and over stimulated, we may disregard some of the information we can gather from our intuition or our psychic ability. Studies show that one of the most dangerous moments in a victims life is when they disregard their intuition at the moment when they are at greatest risk, for instance, stepping onto an elevator with someone who "feels" unsafe, or walking into an alley when our "gut"  portends danger. In today's age of disregard for intuition, we may tell ourselves that we shouldn't be "thinking" this way, that what we can see with our eyes looks innocent enough, and therefore should be safe. 

Yet, our 'gut' instinct is just as important as what we see in concrete form, perhaps more in many cases. Our 'gut' instinct helps us to gather evidence that we can assimilate and use in situations where we are unclear.

In our relationships, we rely on our intuition and our guts to tell us whether or not we should get into a relationship, and whether we should trust the person once we do. But sometimes, we have difficulty discerning between our fear and intuition. Especially if a partner is telling us that we are imagining our concerns.

John and Tyiama had just returned from their honeymoon and John's computer was open on the counter. A note from his ex-girlfriend was open and Tyiama read it. The girlfriend was thanking John for their wonderful time when he was in Africa, visiting his parents. Tyiama was devastated, John had been home just prior to their wedding, and he had visited his family and he had said he had spent time with friends. But there was something about this letter that felt suspicious.

When Tyiama confronted John, he denied anything had happened.

"I am surprised you would accuse me of cheating on you, Ty, I went home for a visit before our wedding, come on, there was nothing between her and I. I did see her, but I didn't want to tell you because, well I was afraid you wouldn't understand."

Tyiama felt a stirring in her gut. In her intuitive sense, she felt that he was lying and that something had happened and that he didn't want to tell her. But in her head, she thought:

"I know him so well, and he would never do this to me, not right before the wedding. There is no way this could be happening. Besides, if it was true that he cheated on me, what would I do? Leave him? We just bought a house, just moved in together, I just planned my whole life around him. I can't listen to my intuition even if it is correct."

Tyiama turned off her intuition and decided to go with her cognitive truth, or her thoughts. She made a conscious choice to believe him. But to turn off her intuition meant that she had to turn off other parts of herself that had been important in her life.

Slowly, she realized she couldn't trust herself, not him. When he called to say he would be late coming home from work, she wondered:

"Is he telling the truth, maybe it's just me, or is it him? Do I believe him or not?"

She no longer knew whether to trust her intuition and she couldn't tell if she felt fear or if she should listen to her intuition. She could no longer trust her own instincts. She stopped writing and stopped doing her job as competently. Not trusting herself, she made careless mistakes, always second guessing herself. She started feeling her self esteem diminish.

Finally, on their second anniversary, she read all of John's emails on his computer. She felt terrible about it. She confessed to him how she felt and they talked. He admitted that yes, he did have an affair before their wedding. She feels bad, but relieved. She hadn't imagined it, and her intuition hadn't lied to her. She then begins the long hard climb back to trusting her own instincts and her inner world.

In Melanie Barnum's new book, Psychic Abilities for Beginners, she gives an exercise to get in touch with your claircognizance, or clear knowing. The first part of the exercise is Meditation.

"Meditation is a huge part of spirituality and a great way to access your claircognitive gifts. … It can also bring you to a state of heightened psychic awareness, creating a vibrational level that will promote your intuitive senses."

She suggests you meditate by sitting in a comfortable place and taking some nice deep breaths. Inhale and fill up your lungs. When you exhale, focus on pushing out all of the debris in your body. Continue to do this visualization as you do your deep breathing and breath in the energy of the pure oxygen, staying in a rhythm for at least five minutes, focusing on your breath. 

Now bring all of your attention to the top of your head, to your crown chakra. Imagine you can feel all of your hair follicles and the roots of your hair and then let the sensation flow down through your body, through your third eye and forehead and down through your throat, and heart. Move the energy into your belly and naval area and into your abdomen and all the way to your root chakra or the base of your spine.  When you can feel the energy tingling, allow it to go all the way to the ground and then bring it back up, creating a flow, or a circuit back up the top of your head. 

Push that circuit of energy out until it becomes a sphere of light around your body and fill it with "glittery sparkles of positive energy." Then imagine that the top of your head "is loaded with hundreds of fiber optic wires, puffing out of your crown, lit up with all different colors."

Then believe that you will be sent the answers that you seek. This is the important part. Tell yourself that you will get the answers to your questions. 

Now focus on a question about your future. Any question. Make is specific though, if you can, the more vague the question, the more vague the answer. Ask it and then take a moment. Breathe. Believe. Send out those fiber optic wires. And then receive the answer.

Write it down quickly, or just breathe it in. Sometimes your answers will be in a form you don’t understand right away. But trust that you will make sense of them later.  And if you trust them, and trust your intuition, your answers will come and you will get information. It just might not be the information you wanted.

What happens when you do start to get information about your relationship and it’s not so great?  Get some help from a trusted professional, a therapist or counselor.  And find someone who will respect your intuition.  Most therapists do. In fact, psychotherapy is a very intuitive art.  So we tend to understand the language of the gut instinct. 

To find out more about developing your psychic ability, go to


Explore YourTango