What can we do to save our marriage?
By Dr Tammy Nelson
Tammy Nelson PhD is the author of Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together
You’ve just had a huge fight, and you’re wondering what you can do as a couple to get back to that loving feeling you remember from when you were first in love. New love, with all of its breathless hope and sexual tension, seems so far away once the conflict phase of a marriage is in full bloom.
The power struggle is normal for all long term committed partnerships. But it can feel hopeless at times, and you might be wondering how to recharge or reboot your romance. Or maybe you are thinking you made a mistake, married the wrong person. Maybe you are even thinking about trading in your spouse for a new model.
Before you go shopping for an upgrade, consider some options. There may be some retreat options that are fun, and improve your relationship at the same time.
Saving your marriage should be a priority. And working on ways to make that happen should be at the top of your list if you feel your marriage is in jeopardy.
Couples therapy can help. But sometimes going to a therapist for an hour a week is not practical with work, kids and other responsibilities. And frankly, if you are in a real crisis, or if you have been neglecting your marriage for a long time, you may need a faster solution. Marital triage may be in order.
Weekend workshops for couples may be a good intervention for couples worried about their relationship. Two or three day workshops with a licensed professional can help jumpstart a failing commitment, or can heal you from a broken promise. A workshop can restore hope, increase the connection between you and teach you new ways to communicate to help your relationship feel healthier and in the long run, happier.
For those of you who want to combine the skills you learn in a workshop but want a destination get-away as well, a week long couple’s retreat may be the way to go. Week long destination retreats are offered in beautiful and relaxing locations, usually on a beach, where the work with a therapist is usually in the morning and your beach time or excursions are in the afternoon and evening. The atmosphere is usually for fun and can be sexy and passionate for couples who want to combine their treatment with adventure.
For other couples where immediate healing is the priority, finding an Couples Intensive might help. Many therapists offer several hours of therapy solely focused on the couple’s issues, whether it is infidelity, sexuality, or divorce prevention. These Intensives may give you the skills of a workshop, but with more private and individualized attention.
With all of these options, the focus is on saving your marriage. Try one or more of these before you decide to give up on your partner, or your marriage. The investment may be the most important one you will ever make.
Time away to focus on your relationship, whether it is in town or far away, is a journey into intimacy and a more connected partnership. You may re-connect after years of missing each other and feel more positive (or tan!) then ever before.
There are many therapists that offer shorter or longer excursions around the world, in many beautiful destination places. Some have excursions included, some are ala carte. The important thing to look for is the combined experience of good therapy for your relationship and a good environment to feel healed, relaxed and renewed.
For more information about my week long couples retreat in March in Paradise on the beach or to find out about couples workshops and Intensives email firstname.lastname@example.org or go to www.drtammynelson.com. Or to find info on Intensives please email me.
Dr Tammy Nelson is a psychotherapist in private practice and the author of Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together