Why Women Love '50 Shades Of Grey'


Why Women Love '50 Shades Of Grey' [EXPERT]
This romance novel taps into our most erotic fantasies. Find out how.

Fifty Shades has been spoofed on Saturday Night Live, read aloud on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and talked about at every ladies book club in America. The main male character is dominating, into BDSM and always gives Anastasia an orgasm. Christian Grey knows what he is doing  in the bedroom, likes to do it and often. He is in charge and takes what he wants.

But, Christian is not a cad. He never cheats on his lover, and wants her and no one else. They are monogamous from the moment they meet. In fact, he is jealous and possessive. These traits add to the fantasy and make it that much hotter. Not only is Christian Grey gorgeous and rich beyond belief, he is also totally and completely committed only to Anastasia.

This fantasy sells. It is monogamy that is hot, focused on her needs, and at the same time is unpredictable. So, he has some faults and a traumic past, which is to be expected. It gives Anastasia something to work on. She can use her nurturing and submissive attributes to fix his codependency issues. But the monogamy is what sells the story. If Grey was hot but sleeping around, the reader would hate him. He might still be sexy, he might still turn you on. But you would not want to marry him. Does Monogamy Really Work?

But hey, I do not want to ruin book three for you.

Dr Tammy Nelson is a world renowned expert in relationships, a psychotherapist in private practice and a trainer and seminar leader worldwide. She is the author of several books including Getting The Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together and the upcoming The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. She can be found at www.drtammynelson.com and her Facebook page Getting the Sex You Want.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tammy Nelson


Tammy Nelson, PhD, LPC http://www.drtammynelson.com/ email me at tammy@drtammynelson.com

Location: Ridgefield, CT
Credentials: LPC, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Sex Therapy
Other Articles/News by Tammy Nelson:

Would You Stay Together If Your Partner Cheats?


If you have ever been cheated on, you know the pain and heartache that comes from betrayal. The hurt can last a long time, maybe even years.  So why should you stay?  Your friends and family will tell you “once a cheater, always a cheater.” But is that always the case? These days, 65% of couples stay together after an ... Read more

6 Steps To Moving Past An Affair And Reclaiming Your Lost Love


For many couples, an affair feels like the absolute end of the marriage or committed partnership. And for some it is. An affair can be what I call a "can opener," or a good excuse to end the relationship. But for other couples, staying together might mean hard work and a renewed commitment to one another, and with a clear path and some dedication to ... Read more

Can An Affair Ever Be Positive?


Intrusive thoughts, pictures of your partner with someone else, and the anger toward the one who cheated can all ruin what once felt like a deep, connected partnership.  Yet some couples seem to stay together after one partner cheats.  How do they do it? And are they really happy? Some couples who come to me for couple’s therapy see their ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular