The Nasty Little Habit You Need To Break

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How To Be Happy: Why You Need To Stop Being Judgmental
Sometimes we can be our own worse enemy.

I have noticed that people are self-reflecting a lot these days. They are asking themselves who they are with respect to their relationships, jobs, money and even their health.

This is actually very good, however, why are they still in so much emotional and even physical pain? It's judgment. Judgment is toxic.  As a damaging habit, most of us judge what we are reflecting. We tell ourselves some pretty mean and awful things as we reflect on life. As a therapist and love coach, I've heard it all: I'm so stupid; I can't get it right; I'm a failure; I'll never measure up; It's never going to happen for me; I can't do it; and on and on.

 

Judgment, energetically speaking, is a contracted energy. It locks you into conclusions, which never feels good to the infinite being that you actually are. When you are judging your experience or the experience of others, it just doesn't feel good — not to you or anyone around you.

So, why do we judge? Well, we've been programmed for centuries to judge what is right or wrong, good or bad. Or, we have been taught to judge anything that we don't know or understand, when actually, everything just is what it is. We are what we are. Period. However, families, society, media, religion, government, etc. has programmed us to follow what our egoic minds are telling us and not our hearts. We end up being a slave to the wounded ego. The more you complain about your life circumstances and the people around you, the more you are in bondage to your fear-based ego.

Judgment has the same energy as Victim Consciousness — which means that your ego is in the driver's seat. It also means that fear is the source that you are operating from. Awareness, however, has the energy of Master Consciousness and is guided by your very wise heart. In your heart, no judgment resides — only love.

Judgement Detox Meditation:

Here is a transcript of one of my meditations. This  will help you to detox yourself from judgement and negative energy over and over again.

Find a comfortable position, sitting up or lying down. I would like you to focus on something in the room that you are in — an object, maybe. As you focus your eyes on that, I would like you to allow these things to take place.

Breathe — Since you can not be in judgment and in a space of allowance (or awareness) at the same time, I'm asking you now to allow yourself to step into your awareness. When you focus on your body, you become present and aware, so do that now. Put a finger on your solar plexus and put all of your breath, focus and attention on that point (2" above your belly button). Notice the vibration. Feel relaxation take over your body.

Breathe.... Once you are very relaxed, I will count down from 7 to 1....7 (going deep now),6,5 (allow relaxation to take over your every muscle),4,3 (deeper and deeper),2(almost there),1...you are very relaxed.

In your mind screen, you see a gate. On this gate is a sign which reads: The only way to pass through this gate is to leave your worries and fears behind. Beside you a basket with a sign that reads: Please discard your fears here. You do this, dropping in one by one, all of your worries, frustrations, fears and upsets. Dumping them all in....

You now are ready to open the gate. You see that you are now in your own beautiful garden, your own resting garden. It's filled with fragrant flowers, lush grass, and beautiful trees. About 10 feet in front of you is an empty bench just waiting for you to sit, get comfortable and even more relaxed. As soon as you sit down, feel yourself completely let go. You've made it to your special resting garden. There is no stress here. Every blade of grass, every flower and tree is infused with love. You are feeling better and better. Suddenly, you notice that there is a box right next to you on the bench with the words "Box Of Awareness" on the lid. The box contains...awareness. You'd like to enthusiastically rip open this box, however, something is stopping you. Why are you not willing to open this box that contains your blissful awareness? Eventually, you will open it, but why are you not yet willing?

  • What are you avoiding? What is the fear?*
  • Whom do you prefer to blame instead? Who are you punishing? Who won't you let off the hook?*
  • What is the righteousness you hang onto?*
  • What is the guarantee you cannot have, but insist on holding out for?*
  • Why is your self-pity so important to you? Why is the false sense of "better than" so seductive still?*
  • What is the sliver of the past that you still want to relive over and over again? See what it is so you can let it go.*

Now open the box and see what is inside. It may be an object that is a symbol from your subconscious or higher conscious mind. It may be a word or a picture. You may find that there is nothing in the box, but that images are flooding your brain. Let it be. Just let it be.

Next to bench you now see that there is a garbage can. This is your opportunity to throw away all of your judgement that has created so much pain and suffering in your life. Think of this garbage can like a basketball hoop, and with 100% of your energy, you are going to slam dunk each one of your judgments into this can.

Really throw away all of your judgments — your resistances to allowing what is. Especially throw away all the self judgment that you have been carrying for years. Throw away every little shred of fear, hate, anger, hurt and pity and all the emotions of worry, doubt, confusion and anxiety. They all go into the can.

It's time to let all of this go  to free your soul from jail.

You did a good job. You are on your sacred journey to freedom. When you are completely free of judgement, you will be able to open that gate and experience a higher level of personal and spiritual growth. 

When you are ready, slowly bring yourself out of meditation 7,6,5,4,3,2,1, you feel totally revitalized.

Breath in and out to ground yourself.

*The bulleted questions above are from Lazarus.

If you enjoyed with meditation and want the link to the audio, become an Awakening Member today! You can also join us our live calls by becoming a part of the Miracle Mondays community for free!

This article was originally published at www.tamaragreen.me. Reprinted with permission.

More how to be happy advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Tamara Green

Social Worker

Tamara J. Green, LCSW
Loving Relationship Expert
914-420-4047

tamaragreen4u@gmail.com
http://tamaragreen.me/

Location: NY, NY
Credentials: LCSW
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