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Do You Still Make These Parenting Mistakes In 2017?

Do You Still Make These Parenting Mistakes In 2017?
Family

[Adoptive] Parenting as we know it is much different than you think.

There is a big shift happening in parenting and here is what all adoptive parents need to know about parenting an adopted child in 2017.

Positive parenting begins BEFORE the child enters the family.

It doesn't matter how many books you've read or how many adoptees you talk to. Knowledge will not change your internal programming and that is what will be directing your parenting.

Before you welcome your child into your home, it is essential that you do the necessary inner exploration work of identifying and freeing yourself your childhood wounds, negative programming, and old outdated beliefs. Yes this work is often emotional and vulnerable and it's oh, so valuable.

When you as an adoptive parent become intentional about why you want to become a parent, how you will parent and what will you do to ensure a solid foundation so you and your child thrive through the good times and the bad. This is the groundwork needed to create a healthy, happy, whole family.

Often parents fantasize about what it takes to raise a healthy happy family.

In your mind, it's easy to create a fantasy. But if you don't work on your own issues that fantasy will never become a reality.

WHY?

Because the realities of parenting are hard. It's a daily grind that brings even the most patient parent to their knees from time to time.

In your mind you may envision your child(red) having the best personality and temperament. But then reality sets in.

As the child begins to form their personality, and their behavior goes against what you deem acceptable you may be tempted to label your child as defiant or rebellious when in fact, they are simply expressing who they really are. When you instantly label a child you rob them of their ability to explore and discover their authentic self.

A scolded child becomes confused. He or she is told they are wrong so the child grows up not trusting their sense of self. What is happening is the parents make the child's behavior about them and in doing so, is robbing the child of finding their authentic self. The child is doing what comes naturally, and are being told they are wrong. So the child grows up not trusting themselves. Parents are often parenting the way they were parented. They are parenting through old outdated beliefs that no longer work.

We need to get right with ourselves and strip away the crap from the past.

Before you adopt a child, ask yourself this "What will I do when my child's behavior bothers me?"

Dig deep, get honest and be willing to uncover your own core wounds that may be triggering you when a child acts up. Don't let the pain of your past affect your parenting style . Work on becoming whole within yourself so you can raise whole children.

It doesn't matter how much technology is around, or how times have changed. When a parent comes from a place of compassion and understanding for their child and the willingness to allow the child a safe place to grow into their own self, parenting becomes easy and the relationship is solid.

Suzanne works with prospective adoptive couples who have unresolved issues surrounding their childhood that will cloud their ability to parent. She helps them to be confident, loving parents to their child, and provide an environment where the child thrives. Reach out to her here for a free 'Confident Loving Parent' breakthrough session. You can also check out her free E-book, 9 (Little Known) Factors That Could Affect Your Adopted Babies Mental Health And What You Can Do To Prevent It

This article was originally published at SuzieQ Solutions. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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