Is Your Secretive Partner Making You Jealous?

By

Is Your Secretive Partner Making You Jealous?
Communication help when you’re with a quiet or secretive partner.

As you look for facts to support or refute your jealous suspicions, be sure to consider the way that you usually communicate.

Do you often greet your partner at the door with a long list of probing questions about his or her day? Do you tense up and make accusations when your he or she talks about being around other men or women?

Be honest with yourself. 

Identify any of your communication habits that come from your jealousy and not from true curiosity or a desire to connect.

If you feel resistant to this self-inquiry, acknowledge that there possibly are things your partner is doing to weaken trust AND there are probably also things you are doing that add to tension and disconnection.

Create new, healthier habits.

As you start to get a clearer idea of how you usually communicate with your partner, try out some new and healthier ways of talking and interacting.

It's okay to admit to him or her that you feel jealous when you do. Use words like, "I appreciate you telling me that you had lunch with her and I feel jealous. I am working on that and I believe you when you say she is just a friend."

You can be honest AND not hold your partner responsible for your jealousy.

Choose your words carefully and try to remember the facts that you have as well as your desire to not be driven by jealousy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Find out how to calm your jealousy so that you can know what’s true, what to do about it and how to communicate more effectively. 7 Jealousy-Stopping Secrets has answers to help you and your relationship.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

5 Cures For Your Biggest Jealousy Triggers

By

Sam feels frustrated after a visit with his doctor. His blood pressure is high and he's developing a stomach ulcer. None of these health conditions are a big surprise to Sam. He's been super stressed for months and it's largely because of all of his pent up feelings. It all started when Sam's wife's ex-husband moved back to their small ... Read more

4 Ways Jealousy Actually Helps Your Relationship

By

What you hear about jealousy can be confusing. It's unpleasant, emotionally painful to experience and can cause you to act paranoid and so unlike the person you want to be (and truly are). But... Sometimes, jealousy can seem to get you what you've been longing for — your partner's attention. This is why certain websites and magazine ... Read more

Keeping Score Kills Love: 5 Ways To Change This Dynamic

By

We've all been there. Your partner has put you off, let you down or totally messed up so many times, you have a running tally going and it only fuels your irritation and anger. One woman posted on Reddit a spreadsheet her husband actually created and sent to her that listed off every excuse she'd given him over the past month for not having sex. He ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB