Body Hatred: Bad for You, Bad for Your Relationship

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Body Hatred: Bad for You, Bad for Your Relationship
Healthy body image: One secret to a closer and happier relationship

But, if you don’t get to the source of your body hatred, these actions will be empty and probably short-lived too. Make sure you’re also getting to the source: The beliefs you have about yourself and about your body.

The way that you “talk” to yourself is a reflection of what you believe. Pay closer attention to what you think about your body as well as what you say out loud. Keep in mind that sarcasm and self-deprecating jokes can have just as negative an impact as something overtly critical.

Glamour magazine surveyed 300 women of varying body sizes and found that, on average, the women admitted to 13 negative body thoughts each and every day. Some of the women in the study reported up to 100 negative thoughts about their bodies every day.

Tally up negative body thoughts or just notice what runs through your mind as you move through your day and especially when you look at yourself in the mirror.

To change your self-talk, interrupt negative thoughts when they crop up. Be gentle yet firm with yourself. You can simply say “stop” and then take a deep breath. Some people find it helpful to substitute the hateful thought with one that is more soothing.

You don’t have to try to leap from “I look hideous!” to “I look gorgeous” if you don’t genuinely feel that way. Instead, find positive and soothing word like, “love,” “kindness,” “gentle,” “I’m okay” or whatever moves your thoughts in a different direction.

Make this your habit. It’s likely that you’ll periodically slide back into body hating-- especially when you’re stressed or feeling uncertain-- so keep returning to what works for you.

Treat your body (and self) with love. 

The more you treat your body and self with love instead of hate, the better you’re going to feel. A wonderful side effect of this is that your confidence builds and you begin to walk a little taller.

When you feel better about yourself, you usually make healthier choices too. Maybe you choose to eat just one cookie instead of six. Maybe you take a brisk walk in the park instead of staying home. Maybe you are more honest and open with your partner because you’re not as worried that he or she will leave you.

When you treat your body and self with love and respect, you set a powerful example to your partner and everyone else in your life. They’ll know that you are to be listened to, treated with kindness AND that you are beautiful and worthy of adoration.

Your healthy confidence and positive body image will open you up to a brand new level of connection with the one you love. So, what are you waiting for?
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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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