“I’m so fat!”
“My butt looks huge in these jeans!”
“I can’t leave the house looking like THIS!”
If you’ve uttered words like these, you might be putting your relationship at risk. Even if you’ve never put yourself down or been hateful about your body out loud, you still might be negatively affecting your love relationship or marriage.
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“Hatred” might seem like a strong word and you may believe that you’re not that tough on yourself, but if you consistently criticize and judge your body to be “ugly,” “fat,” “too skinny” or otherwise unacceptable, then hatred is what you’re giving yourself.
Not only is this habit bad for you, it’s bad for your relationship too.
In fact, the way you habitually slam your body size or appearance could lead to breakup or divorce. You see, when you put yourself down, you put stress on yourself and on the connection your share with your partner.
Here’s what can happen...
- You feel insecure about your body and so you hold back with your partner which causes distance between the two of you.
- You are more prone to jealousy as you worry that someone “thinner,” “fitter” or “more attractive” than you will steal your partner away.
- You are hesitant and more reserved when sexually intimate with your partner because you’re embarrassed or even ashamed of your body.
- Your energy and attention are so focused on how much you hate your body, you come off as self-centered and you can’t tune in to your partner’s needs.
- Your partner is put in the impossible position of trying to convince you that you ARE pretty/handsome/attractive. You either can’t hear or you dismiss his or her compliments.
- You are constantly fearful that your partner will leave because of the way you look and so you hover and demand constant attention and/or reassurance.
It’s exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who is hateful toward him or herself. The stress and strain can build and, at a certain point, it’s too much. The damage to your connection becomes irreparable and the other person wonders why he or she stays with someone who has zero self-respect.
It’s also exhausting to BE the one who can’t stand to look in the mirror and who doesn’t appreciate his or her body and self.
You deserve better. Your partner deserves better too.
If you have a habit of hating on your body, know that YOU are the one who has the power to stop. YOU can begin to turn not only your body image around, but also your overall confidence and your relationship too.
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Change your self-talk.
You can try a makeover, new diet or exercise regime to improve your body image. There are positives to all of these activities. It can help you feel better to do something that supports your health and well-being.