“Where are the 'NORMAL' Guys?”

By

“Where are the 'NORMAL' Guys?”
How to find your perfect partner...even when it seems impossible.

Jennifer is frustrated and depressed. She is tired of being single and all of the games that go along with dating. She is SO over spending her time with narcissists, liars, cheaters and weirdos.

What Jennifer wants most of all is to meet and fall in love with a completely normal guy. More than anything, she wants to be in a relationship with a guy who has a job, keeps his word and knows how to talk and be with a woman. She wants someone who will treat her with respect and who will let her know that she really matters.

Unfortunately, Jennifer believes that there is no such thing as a normal guy. She's just not seeing evidence that this kind of man exists! She is starting to think that she'll have to settle with the best she can get and put up with whatever guy she can find...or come to terms with forever being single.

If you've been through more than your share of horrible dates or painful relationships, it might seem to you that the kind of love you're looking for is impossible. It may appear that “all of the good ones are taken” or that there aren't any “normal” men or women out there to begin with.

This can sound very jaded and you might not feel like this all of the time, but some of time perhaps you do.

If you're single and you would like to be in a close, connected and healthy relationship (for once), then maybe you're struggling the way that Jennifer is. It could be that you doubt that the kind of partner you want exists or possibly you might worry that you're unworthy of attracting the love you desire.

The first thing we're going to say to you is this...

YES! You DO deserve to have the kind of relationship you want AND that kind of partner and relationship are possible. There ARE plenty of “normal” guys and women out there and your challenge is to remove the obstacles that are standing between you and your dream relationship.

Pay attention to your expectations.

Every single one of us has expectations. This is just part of being human. If you've had quite a few similar experiences, it's natural that you're going to start expecting that aspect of your life to be that way. Even one intense, painful or upsetting experience can stick with you and influence your expectations.

This is especially true when it comes to relationships.

It is common for men to believe that women will be a certain way and it's just as common for women to expect men to be a particular way. Our expectations largely determine how we'll act and react to other people and in certain situations.

Start to listen more closely to yourself. What are your usual thoughts about men, women, dating and relationships? What are some common words you use to describe these same topics?

This will clue you in to your expectations. If you notice that your expectations tend to be negative, pessimistic or hopeless, stop and question what you are thinking or saying. The best way to change an expectation is to interrupt it and question it.

Widen your gaze.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

Keeping Score Kills Love: 5 Ways To Change This Dynamic

By

We've all been there. Your partner has put you off, let you down or totally messed up so many times, you have a running tally going and it only fuels your irritation and anger. One woman posted on Reddit a spreadsheet her husband actually created and sent to her that listed off every excuse she'd given him over the past month for not having sex. He ... Read more

Stress And The State Of Your Relationship

By

Unfortunately, we Americans have become “accomplished” at creating stressful lives for ourselves. A recent nationwide stress survey conducted by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and the Harvard School of Medicine asked people how stressed they've been lately and what they do when they're stressed out. Researchers for this study found ... Read more

Can't Trust Because Of Your Ex?

By

You don't trust your partner and there's no good reason for it. You know this, but you can't seem to change it. You check his phone. You shadow her to keep her "safe from creeps." You're constantly anxious and afraid that your partner will cheat... Even though there's no evidence to support your fears. You ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB