What's on Your Relationship Bucket List?

By

What's on Your Relationship Bucket List?

Alex was badly shaken up when one of her co-workers unexpectedly lost her husband in a freak accident. She feels sad for the other woman's loss and is now re-evaluating her own relationship too.

Watching the grief and regret that her co-worker is struggling with has put into perspective the petty disagreements and hard feelings that are between Alex and her live-in boyfriend.

She wonders how she would feel if she were to lose her boyfriend tomorrow. Would his annoying habit of leaving the toilet seat up even matter? Would the argument they had last night about who forgot to pay the cable bill be as big a deal?

There are so many things Alex would like to do differently in her relationship-- so many ways that she'd like to change and grow. She's always taken it for granted that there would be time later to tackle the tense and difficult aspects of their relationship.

Now, Alex is realizing the possibility that something could happen and there won't be a later on.

While this is a morbid way to look at her relationship, it's also a positive nudge. Alex sat down and created a “relationship bucket list.” These are the things she'd like to change or experience with her boyfriend before their relationship ends-- whether the end be through a breakup or death.

Alex wrote down on her list things like, “having clear responsibilities about bill paying” and “lightening up about whether or not the toilet seat is left up or down.” She's also included dreams of hers, “kissing at the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris” and “camping on the beach together.”

Making this bucket list has prompted Alex to set aside her frustration and to really talk with (instead of at) her boyfriend about the issues they routinely argue about. She's also feeling inspired to start setting aside money for the romantic adventures she'd like to share with him.

What would be on your relationship bucket list?

Perhaps you've heard about other people making their bucket list or you've watched the movie with the same name. The idea behind a bucket list is to get out and do the things you've always wanted to do before you die or “kick the bucket.” These might be activities or making amends with others.

The great thing about a bucket list is you don't have to be dying of a terminal illness to get out and do what you've put off or even avoided. Making the list can be a motivational tool to help you create a more fulfilling, exciting and joyful life.

This same tool can be specifically applied to your love relationship or marriage.

We all get busy and, often, we put the needs of our partner and relationship last so that we can focus on other things that seem more pressing or even more important. Many people make the assumption that they'll get to the distance or tension in their relationship “one day” and that day never comes...

Unfortunately, the denied or ignored relationship issues get bigger and this can lead to unavoidable conflict and pain.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

8 Reasons Why You Should Have More Sex If You're Over 50

By

Aging can be a pretty serious business...but it doesn't have to be! It's inevitable that changes happen in your life and your body as you get older. Kids grow up and start having kids of their own. You retire or get closer to retirement. These are just two radical departures from what you've known, and there are more. Your body changes. Signs of ... Read more

3 Ways Your 'Better Half' Is Ruining Your Relationship

By

"Cheers to the perfect couple!" Heart-felt words like these can actually doom a relationship. Did you know that your well-meaning congratulations to a new couple could solidify dangerous myths about love? Beliefs about relationships were the focus of a recent study conducted by researchers at the University of Toronto and the results ... Read more

What To Do When You Feel Needy

By

It is a rare person who hasn't ever felt needy. You know the feeling. The urge to know — in that moment — that the one you love is interested in you, cares about how you're doing, wants to spend time with you and genuinely loves you. You want some sign that you're special to your spouse or partner. What's emotionally painful about ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular