What’s “Normal” in Your Relationship?

By

What’s “Normal” in Your Relationship?
Why comparing your sex life with others is a bad idea...

It is valuable to identify what is “normal” in your relationship. Notice the emphasis is on thinking about what, for you and your partner, is a normal and usual mode-- not what you think the rule is that ALL couples have to abide by.

Love is not “one size fits all.”

 

It’s going to be very different for each couple, so notice what it’s like when you and your partner are connected and close and stop the comparing. When you two are connected is probably when you’re also having frequent and satisfying sexual and non-sexual intimacy.

When you honor what’s “normal” for you and your partner, then you can appreciate where you are and what’s going right. This doesn’t mean that you deny the troubles you two have. It just means that you know what is usual for you.

This can be a place for gratitude and for building up to changes you both want.

Get curious about what’s blocking intimacy and passion.

If you want more frequent sex and connection, then take your “normal” and figure out a next step toward the improvement you’re looking for. If you and your partner are falling far short of what your “normal” is when it comes to sex, there’s probably a block. Without blame, figure out what’s blocking intimacy so you can start making changes.

This can be potentially tricky!

It’s all too common for people to either lay sole responsibility for a lack of passion on their partner or on themselves. The truth is almost always that responsibility is shared. BOTH people in a relationship contribute to dynamics that either push them apart or move them closer together.

Look at the ways you normally communicate, react and act. Notice what happens on a daily basis and when you feel stressed out or emotionally triggered. Even if it doesn’t seem like a particular habit would influence intimacy and sex, it probably does.

Remember, healthy and amazing sex and intimacy spring from a relationship connection that is close, trusting, respectful, kind and attentive-- all of the time and not just when one person wants to have sex.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Make passion, connection and fabulous sexual intimacy the new normal for your love relationship or marriage. Passionate Spark~Lasting Love will show you how (and it’s FREE!)

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

The Must-Read Social Networking Safety Guide For Couples

By

"It's harmless! I don't know why you're getting so uptight about this!" Justin tells his girlfriend Ellen — and not for the first time. He can't understand why she feels so threatened by the comments that Justin posts about and to other women. He also doesn't see why she makes such a big deal about it all. To ... Read more

3 Things You MUST Do To Breakup-Proof Your Relationship

By

We all mess up at one time or another. In the vast majority of cases, when a relationship is in trouble and teetering on the verge of a breakup, there's a complicated array of reasons why. Even if there was (or is) an affair, both people in the relationship played a part in creating the disconnection and dysfunction that helped set the ... Read more

Is Your Romance Hopelessly Doomed Because Of Your Age Difference?

By

Does the age gap between you and your lover you up at night (and we don't mean in a good way)?  It's hard to escape all the relationship studies and polls that say your May-December romance is doomed, including the latest research that seems to indicate that the larger the age gap between two people who are married, the higher the chance ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular