If you've browsed the magazine racks at your local bookstore or surfed the web, you know that there's a LOT of dating advice out there. There are how to’s for using body language to get and impress a date, lists of words and phrases to say (and not to say) and much much more.
Women are often told to lose extra pounds, get a wardrobe and hair makeover, don't be too forward or too smart, but do be sexy, interesting and inviting. Men are advised to be strong but not macho, take charge but be sensitive, bulk up your biceps and tone your abs and dress and drive to show how much of a success you are.
You can drive yourself crazy and end up feeling like you have zero chance attracting the kinds of dates you want if you try to follow this advice.
To sum up...
In general, magazines send the message that, in order to get dates and/or a relationship, you've got to make some major changes in your body, your manner of speaking, your interests, your spending and other areas of your life. We don't think finding love has to be such hard (and maybe impossible) work!
It can actually be very simple.
To attract someone who is a match for you, be the best you can be.
“Sure,” you're thinking. You've heard this one before. Maybe it was your mom who consoled you when you felt miserable, unpopular and ignored by your biggest crush. She (or someone else in your life) may have told you to just “be yourself” and the right person for you will come along.
Well, your mom was right.
When you step into your authentic self and really live at the highest potential you can at this time, then you're going to shine. No, you won’t be perfect, but you’re going to be someone who is interesting and attractive to others-- maybe not everybody, but the right partner for you.
When your guiding principle is to be at your best, you won't have to force yourself or try to pretend that you're something you're not. You do what needs to be done to tap into that amazing-ness that is you and then attracting love happens naturally and easily.
If all of this sounds like it will never work for you, try these 3 tips...
1. Identify your strengths.
You might think you know what your best attributes are, but you're probably missing some things. Take the time to observe yourself. Look at what you're really good at doing and your physical positives too. For some people this feel uncomfortable. They worry about being narcissistic.
The point here is not to put others down or make yourself superior, it's about celebrating everything about you that your potential partner might appreciate and adore. When you recognize your strengths, you’re shifting your focus to what you like and what you’d like to keep developing about yourself. This exercise also boosts confidence, which is an essential part of being your best.