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Surprising and Strange Advice to Attract a Great Relationship

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Surprising and Strange Advice to Attract a Great Relationship
Make 2013 the year you attract your perfect partner!

Are you ready to make 2013 YOUR year to (finally) find love that lasts?

If so, we've got an important message for you. It's not the perfect pick-up line, flattering make-up tricks or even amazing sex positions. Our advice to help you attract the great love relationship you've been longing for and craving may be a little surprising and strange.

More from YourTango: 4 Questions You Wish You Never Asked Your Partner

But try it anyway...

Look back to the past to find love.

Looking to the past isn't something we'd usually recommend because, as you may have heard, it unwise to do. It's not the direction you want to go!

The last thing you probably want to do is to recall the way your ex lied to you and how it felt when he or she cheated. It's likely that you do not want to think about the arguments and cold distance that raged between you and your ex.

And, we know you don't relish your memories of being all alone on a Saturday night wishing you were feeling the loving caress of someone who  treats you right.

As much as you argue that you don't-- maybe won't-- think back to the past because you're ready for a new and better future, that's just not true.

In actuality, most people spend most of their time and energy focused on things that happened hours, days, weeks, months and years ago. We humans just can't seem to let go of the past.

That is a huge part of what's blocking you from attracting the kind of love you have wanted all along. You don't want to dwell on the past, but you do.

We all do.

Our surprising and strange advice to you is to stop pretending that you're NOT thinking about the past and spend some time thinking about it...

But, in a very specific way.

Learn from the past, but don't get stuck there.

We completely agree that it's a dangerous habit to live in the past. It can be confusing and it can draw your energy and attention away from where your power really is-- the present moment.

If you don't learn from your past, however, you are just as likely to doom yourself to more unhappiness and disappointment. This is why we urge you to take an honest look at the relationships of your past and do so with the intention to learn.

Set aside the need to establish blame for past hurts or the impulse to justify the mistakes you made and, instead, adopt an attitude of openness to the lessons.

Every single relationship you've ever had and every single person you've ever dated was a potential teacher for you, but only if you're open to the learning.

If it helps, write down the names of your exes on a piece of paper. For each and every one of those people, ask yourself this question...

More from YourTango: 4 Game Changers for a Happier Marriage

“What can I learn from you?”

Even though the relationship is over, the lesson is still available to you. And, the lessons you can learn from your past are key to creating a new and wonderful future for yourself.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

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